Friday Diatribe-ing

First, I'd like to thank Kara for the opportunity to rant about this, which I am now reposting, mainly because it's that ridiculous. Now, I take public transportation to work because it only costs me $250 a year to park and be driven to work rather than $600+ to maybe be able to park at work instead. It's bullshit, but I digress.

There are many issues with this plan, the least of which being that it's inconvenient and it makes me motion sick on a daily basis.

This morning, UNC closed offices until 10am (due to black ice), meaning every single employee and student tried to get on the buses and to work/school at the same exact time and the Chapel Hill transit service never thinks to run extra buses to make up for it, so I ended up with some large woman who was forced to stand up in the aisle because the bus was overcrowded, shoving her purse in my face instead of just stowing it on the floor between her legs like everyone else and it took a whole hour for the full, overheated (because the drivers always just turn the heat on high, which does wonders for car sickness) bus/clown car to drive me to work (four miles). If I had known, I would have worn running shoes and walked to work the much shorter route, in less time.

The meme that will never get old.

My next kvetch? Something I've no doubt discussed ad nauseam, and that is doctor copays.

The whole reason I gave up trying to find a diagnose for (let alone seek treatment for) the chronic vertigo issues four years ago was because of money. The costs just seem so arbitrary. For one "specialist" I'm charged $60 while it's $70 for another. One charges for every appointment, even if it's just a 10-minute follow-up discussion, while the other waives the copay for follow-ups. I'm a state employee, man. Have mercy!

Logic? That's SO last year.

I had a visit with the Otologist today. I discussed all the dizzy happenings with the MA and then again with the nurse practitioner. I cannot explain to you how sick I am of having to repeat myself or of having people look in my ears. I mean, it's way less obnoxious than perhaps having multiple people take a look inside some other orifices. Maybe I should count myself lucky.

I have two more tests coming at me in my near future: SOT (sensory organization test) and ECOG (electrocochleography). One of them isn't covered by insurance. 

That said, having to ridiculously alter my workouts because I can't run, lest I fall over, is becoming increasingly maddening. I have a half marathon in a little over a week and that thought, currently, makes me want to curl up in a corner and bang my head against the wall. 

...or something like that.

I don't know about you, but here it's officially wine-o-clock.

Any rants/kvetches/general complaints to share?

All the nope

On today's edition of What the Hell is Happening in My Head, we bring you the results of Emily's Videonystagmography. (Don't worry, the saga doesn't end here).

The smile is fake. The style is very real.

To say that this is one of the more strange things to happen to me at a doctor's office is quite an understatement, although I view any doctor's appointment where I don't have to remove my clothes to be a win.

Because going to the neurologist isn't creepy enough

To make a long story short, this test involved wearing these super snazzy infrared goggles and undergoing the following:

• Keeping my head still and following Mister Potato Head on a TV screen with only my eyes while he moved all over the screen. That sneaky little sneakster.
• Lying down, sitting up, keeping my head at certain angles
• Having cold and then warm air shot into each ear for a minute at a time 
• Feeling like I was floating all over the place
• Lots of questions
• Talking about dogs (this was just a bonus of having an audiologist whose dog has his own Instagram account)

The result? I have a 30% impairment of the right peripheral vestibular pathway (a weak Vestibulocochlear nerve in the right ear). So, clear as mud.

I've been doing a lot of research and I don't really understand it any more than when I first heard the diagnosis. The next step is I get to go see an Otologist.

Every time I have an appointment, I think "oh good, I'll finally get answers today! And then...all the nope. Someday.

Someday.

Having my brain examined

Remember that race I registered for that takes place in three weeks? I've had the cold from hell for the last two weeks and have basically just been struggling to breathe ever since. We've also had lots of crappy, cold weather and ice falling from the sky.

OVER IT!

That said, my workouts the last couple weeks have consisted of coughing and blowing my nose and coughing...and blowing my nose. So you know, to say that I won't be completely ready for this race is an understatement. Luckily it's also a full marathon, so I have plenty of time to finish.

I planned to get back into it Saturday and do a two mile treadmill run to remind my body what this whole running thing is. I got on the god forsaken machine and almost instantly the dizziness hit. Yes, THAT is still happening and it makes it really hard to run both straight and upright.

Except way less fun-ny.

After being wrongfully diagnosed with Pastulous Eustachian Tube back in 2011 (oh God, it's really been four years!) I was forced to give up trying to find the cause/cure due to lack of funds, especially after my MRI and hearing tests didn't show anything amiss. Endless guessing at my expense just isn't my thing. I recently switched to a primary care physician closer to my house who has filled me with a newfound need to get this shit found out! 

Last week I had a visit with a neurologist. Talk about an amazing/interesting/enlightening experience. Dude knew his stuff, treated me like I was an intelligent being, and he wasn't too awful on the eyes. So far in this train wreck experience, I've felt like the doctors were literally guessing, with absolutely no confidence behind their "diagnoses." This time, though, I have a newfound hope.

Mmm..veiny.

In case you're like me and have a need to Google search ALL THE THINGS, I'm going in later this week for videonystagmography (VNG). Enjoy, fellow nerds! Results to come.

By far the best image found by Googling videonystagmography

Sprinkles: the cure for everything

I'm about to make you feel better about almost everything. (Yes, even the frigid weather).

It's safe to say I'm a couple days late with this one.

Ever since Friday, (five days ago) I've had the constant feeling of being carsick. Five. Days. No, I still don't know what causes the dizziness but five days straight every couple months of not being able to do anything but sit or lie still without feeling sick, is unacceptable. I considered drugging myself up with Dramamine, which would have been wonderful except for the fact that, you know, I work for a living and being awake is a necessity.

This morning I was dreading getting out of bed and going through it again but then, when I stood up out of bed...NOT DIZZY! It's like the clouds parted and I wanted to kiss everyone! And everything! PIPPI, GET OVER HERE!

Suddenly, after taking five days off from working out, due to the obvious, I currently want to RUN ALL THE MILES!

I'm officially giving credit to the last thing I ate last night for this miracle.

AKA - ending a bad day in the best way possible.

The sprinkles poured out too fast and I was about to complain that I got too many and then I realized...that's not even possible! 

Not only was it cold outside yesterday (there I go again)

...but my commute to work ended in this:

Stop signs. They aren't optional.

I probably haven't said this enough, but MAN do I love people. So, in trying to look for the humorous in crap situations, I found it kind of funny that, when I called the insurance company one of the questions they asked me was whether I was wearing my seatbelt. Now, I instinctively always put mine on, so when I told "insurance lady" that I was wearing mine I wasn't lying. My question is...who would say no to this? Not only would that be really stupid but it's actually against the law to drive without your seatbelt on in North Carolina. So, if someone actually admitted to not wearing one, would insurance not cover the accident?

That's your homework. Hope to it! I'll be over here...basking in the glow of being able to look from side-to-side without feeling the need to hurl. Wee!

"Does this mean longer walks again, Momma?"

Never-ending airplane ride

Last week I went to the ENT to get a second opinion about the cause (and hopefully, someday, also the cure) for what's causing all this dizziness. To make a long story short, he doesn't know. Shocking, right? One thing I found to be disconcerting is that he didn't even mention Patulous Eustachian Tube.

As luck would have it, this week has been a pretty dizzy one I had to cut two workouts short because of it. And, something new: all day yesterday my ears kept popping. I felt like I was on an airplane that NEVER LANDED.

The doctor gave me two options: I could believe his theory that I might have migraine-associated vertigo (which I'm not buying because apparently the type of dizziness I'm experiencing isn't considered vertigo), or I could have a procedure done called a videonystagmogram (VNG), which the doctor referred to as a "balance test".

Looks like torture to me.

While I'm a little concerned about yakking on the doctor during this test, the list of pre-VNG instructions makes me nervous as well:

1. Wear flat shoes
   So running shoes? Done.
2. Remove contact lenses
   I don't wear them. Wee!
3. No eye makeup
   Show up looking dead. Got it.
4. No solid foods, except toast or bread, four hours prior to test
   I'm most scared about this one. I wonder if the doc has a barf bag.
5. Drink only non-caffeinated and non-dairy products 12 hours prior to test
   It's a good thing I've pretty much already given up caffeine.
6. No alcohol after midnight
   So much for my early morning shot of tequila.
7. Discontinue use of all medications one week prior to test
   Yeah, I'm not doing this.

So, that should be fun. My appointment isn't until the end of March so no more news until then. This all started last June. I'm ready to figure out the problem and fix it already. I so took for granted the days when I could run without feeling like I'm going to fall over.


In other news, I had to give up my Lego iPhone case because, well, like me, it was cheap. It cracked in a few places and didn't cover the edges of the glass on the front, which concerned me (read: I'm clumsy). I have since ordered a more sturdy case, but it's boring. The only problem with buying a case of any kind for me, is that I get bored easily and want to switch things up often.

I found a great solution on Pinterest (surprise surprise).

A clear case with "inserts"

(If you want a good laugh, go to the link in the photo caption and check out the title of the blog.)

I love this idea! The only problem now is finding a clear case that covers more of the phone, including the edges of the glass on the front. If you have any leads, let me know :)

It's all fun and games until you can't make it stop

I can sum up the way I've been feeling the last two days in a picture.

It's fun until you want to get off the ride and you just can't.

I did it to myself. I just had to go and drink all that coffee this weekend and screw up my brain. Yes, coffee (at least I'm pretty sure that's why this is happening). And now I want a huge bag of salty potato chips. I won't do it, I promise. But it has crossed my mind.

I've been trying to tie up some loose ends on some things before I head to Virginia, then Maryland, then Washington DC the end of the week. I can't wait for the trip and the race (!!!), but I get anxious about the drive and packing and all that junk, along with the fact that I've screwed up my head.

One thing I had to do was figure out prescription refills. I was in between the time when both of my daily prescriptions are out of refills, but my doctors both called in refills so I had to figure out how to refill them by phone, not being able to talk to anyone in the pharmacy because when you call the drugstore you just get a bunch of recordings. It took me from yesterday morning until the time I drove to the pharmacy today to realize that if my doctors called in the prescriptions already, they're already ready in the pharmacy. Yep. 

I'm actually scared to start packing for the race because I feel like I'm going to forget to pack something imperative, like running shoes or a sports bra. At this point I should probably just let Pippi pack for me. I mean, she keeps Rocco in line. Maybe she's a professional in disguise.

If you want a toy someone else has, sit on them until
they surrender.

I'm actually surprised this picture actually came out. I was laughing so hard the camera was shaking and as I went to take a second shot, Pippi jumped up and attacked me. (By the way, that's the awesome dinosaur Nylabone. They fight over that one more than any of the others. I can't say that I blame them).

The purple and lime green tree is set to be erected tonight. If the plan goes off as scheduled, I'll post pictures tomorrow :)

Do you decorate your tree with a color combination?

Do you hate driving on long trips as much as I do?

(if not, will you be me chauffeur this weekend?)