Friday Diatribe-ing

First, I'd like to thank Kara for the opportunity to rant about this, which I am now reposting, mainly because it's that ridiculous. Now, I take public transportation to work because it only costs me $250 a year to park and be driven to work rather than $600+ to maybe be able to park at work instead. It's bullshit, but I digress.

There are many issues with this plan, the least of which being that it's inconvenient and it makes me motion sick on a daily basis.

This morning, UNC closed offices until 10am (due to black ice), meaning every single employee and student tried to get on the buses and to work/school at the same exact time and the Chapel Hill transit service never thinks to run extra buses to make up for it, so I ended up with some large woman who was forced to stand up in the aisle because the bus was overcrowded, shoving her purse in my face instead of just stowing it on the floor between her legs like everyone else and it took a whole hour for the full, overheated (because the drivers always just turn the heat on high, which does wonders for car sickness) bus/clown car to drive me to work (four miles). If I had known, I would have worn running shoes and walked to work the much shorter route, in less time.

The meme that will never get old.

My next kvetch? Something I've no doubt discussed ad nauseam, and that is doctor copays.

The whole reason I gave up trying to find a diagnose for (let alone seek treatment for) the chronic vertigo issues four years ago was because of money. The costs just seem so arbitrary. For one "specialist" I'm charged $60 while it's $70 for another. One charges for every appointment, even if it's just a 10-minute follow-up discussion, while the other waives the copay for follow-ups. I'm a state employee, man. Have mercy!

Logic? That's SO last year.

I had a visit with the Otologist today. I discussed all the dizzy happenings with the MA and then again with the nurse practitioner. I cannot explain to you how sick I am of having to repeat myself or of having people look in my ears. I mean, it's way less obnoxious than perhaps having multiple people take a look inside some other orifices. Maybe I should count myself lucky.

I have two more tests coming at me in my near future: SOT (sensory organization test) and ECOG (electrocochleography). One of them isn't covered by insurance. 

That said, having to ridiculously alter my workouts because I can't run, lest I fall over, is becoming increasingly maddening. I have a half marathon in a little over a week and that thought, currently, makes me want to curl up in a corner and bang my head against the wall. 

...or something like that.

I don't know about you, but here it's officially wine-o-clock.

Any rants/kvetches/general complaints to share?

All the nope

On today's edition of What the Hell is Happening in My Head, we bring you the results of Emily's Videonystagmography. (Don't worry, the saga doesn't end here).

The smile is fake. The style is very real.

To say that this is one of the more strange things to happen to me at a doctor's office is quite an understatement, although I view any doctor's appointment where I don't have to remove my clothes to be a win.

Because going to the neurologist isn't creepy enough

To make a long story short, this test involved wearing these super snazzy infrared goggles and undergoing the following:

• Keeping my head still and following Mister Potato Head on a TV screen with only my eyes while he moved all over the screen. That sneaky little sneakster.
• Lying down, sitting up, keeping my head at certain angles
• Having cold and then warm air shot into each ear for a minute at a time 
• Feeling like I was floating all over the place
• Lots of questions
• Talking about dogs (this was just a bonus of having an audiologist whose dog has his own Instagram account)

The result? I have a 30% impairment of the right peripheral vestibular pathway (a weak Vestibulocochlear nerve in the right ear). So, clear as mud.

I've been doing a lot of research and I don't really understand it any more than when I first heard the diagnosis. The next step is I get to go see an Otologist.

Every time I have an appointment, I think "oh good, I'll finally get answers today! And then...all the nope. Someday.

Someday.

Having my brain examined

Remember that race I registered for that takes place in three weeks? I've had the cold from hell for the last two weeks and have basically just been struggling to breathe ever since. We've also had lots of crappy, cold weather and ice falling from the sky.

OVER IT!

That said, my workouts the last couple weeks have consisted of coughing and blowing my nose and coughing...and blowing my nose. So you know, to say that I won't be completely ready for this race is an understatement. Luckily it's also a full marathon, so I have plenty of time to finish.

I planned to get back into it Saturday and do a two mile treadmill run to remind my body what this whole running thing is. I got on the god forsaken machine and almost instantly the dizziness hit. Yes, THAT is still happening and it makes it really hard to run both straight and upright.

Except way less fun-ny.

After being wrongfully diagnosed with Pastulous Eustachian Tube back in 2011 (oh God, it's really been four years!) I was forced to give up trying to find the cause/cure due to lack of funds, especially after my MRI and hearing tests didn't show anything amiss. Endless guessing at my expense just isn't my thing. I recently switched to a primary care physician closer to my house who has filled me with a newfound need to get this shit found out! 

Last week I had a visit with a neurologist. Talk about an amazing/interesting/enlightening experience. Dude knew his stuff, treated me like I was an intelligent being, and he wasn't too awful on the eyes. So far in this train wreck experience, I've felt like the doctors were literally guessing, with absolutely no confidence behind their "diagnoses." This time, though, I have a newfound hope.

Mmm..veiny.

In case you're like me and have a need to Google search ALL THE THINGS, I'm going in later this week for videonystagmography (VNG). Enjoy, fellow nerds! Results to come.

By far the best image found by Googling videonystagmography

I might eat my own arm today

Welp. The chiropractor has put me on a minimum 4-week running hiatus. Apparently I've been re-injuring the angry disc in my back by doing things like arm weight exercises and running. I don't know what that's all about, but it looks like body weight exercises and elliptical-ling will be the name of the game for the next month. I actually had  running date planned on Friday and I had to bow out. So annoying! I'm going to have to start back at the beginning with training.

As luck would have it, my brother and sister-in-law, who just put their house on the market, brought over their elliptical for me to "babysit" until they get settled into a new house. I'm so psyched! We bonded for a very sweaty hour yesterday.

They think, someday, I'm giving it back. So cute.

I'm also going to be babysitting Rocco more often for a while, as people will be walking through my brother's house until it's sold.

It's really too bad these two don't get along.

And I'm ending this post here because I just realized none of the food places are open on campus this week and I didn't bring lunch. And I can't park at work, so I don't have my car. I'm freaking out a little bit. Ok, a lot.

P.S. I have had to set my comments to word verification again because I've been receiving no less than 20 spam comments every day for the past couple of weeks. Sorry for the annoyance!

Granny nutbar

This week? It's not over yet. It makes no sense! It's been at least ten days long, right?

I finally caved and made an appointment with a chiropractor. It took this level of pain to get me to finally make an appointment. I'm not a quick learner. I'm not going to lie, I'm a little concerned it's going to be some sort of new age-y thing and he's going to tell me to take some herbs and think happy thoughts.

I've been taking a break from working out in hopes that it will help, but really I'm just still in pain and climbing the walls with anxiety from the lack of movement. My mom's coming to town this weekend, so after work today I'll be cleaning the house to make it mom-clean so that'll be my workout I guess. Fingers crossed that I don't break myself in half or something lame like that. Ain't nobody got the time for that.

Guess what I've been contemplating lately.

I'm going to earn my Grandma badge before you know it! I currently know way more about yarn than I ever dreamed possible. (It's been a slow week at work.) I'm still trying to decide who to give my first knit hat to. I'm currently knitting another one...that I'm never going to wear.

I hope all you folks up north enjoy all that snow. I kind of wish it was snowing here. All we've gotten so far is a lot of ice. You can't make a snowman out of that. Useless. I do, however, find it pretty awesome that they named the storm after a cute cartoon fish. I'm thinking the folks up in New York don't find it to be very cute. Also, since when do they name winter storms? Am I missing something?

That's what you get for making fun of my gimp fin.

Now I think I'll be watching Finding Nemo after I clean today. Welcome to my brain.

I would be the worst nurse ever

This morning I had a doctor appointment and instead of leaving myself enough time to eat breakfast and get everything done before the appointment, I left enough time to take care of Pippi and rush out the door. I had enough time to choke down a cup of yogurt and that's all. If you know me at all, you know a cup of yogurt for breakfast it just a tease.

My new obsession. Too bad I didn't get to taste it.

So I'm sitting, waiting for the doctor for what seemed like forever, all the while listening to my stomach growl. I met with the nurse, then the doctor, then another doctor, then the nurse again, before the doctor came in to do the procedure/remove two moles. Even though I knew exactly what they were doing and felt no pain, I still knew what they were doing, and I could feel my heart rate rising/internal panic.

Beaker: the poster child of panic.

By the time it was over with, I was nauseous and feeling shaky. I didn't really think anything of it until I was paying and things started to get fuzzy and black. I've given blood enough times to know what comes next and I really didn't want to pass out there and be stuck there for longer while they "monitored" me. After paying, I went to open the door and I was sure it was locked. I pushed and pulled and nothing. Thankfully someone was coming in just as I was leaving and they got the door for me. As soon as I got to my car I laid the seat down and after a few minutes I was fine.

The point of this post? (Yes, I have a point. Shut up). I don't know how nurses do it. I can't even think about a medical procedure being done to me without getting queasy, and I wasn't even watching! How in the WORLD do you do it?!

The saga continues

It all started here, when I realized something was just not right with my workouts. I was getting dizzy and had pain in my ears. It was screwing up my workouts and I was worried something was really wrong, so I had to do something about it. I went to the doctor, who found nothing wrong, which led to a lovely MRI, which again showed nothing wrong (AND cost me $700, which I'll be paying off for two years).

You're not going to make me get a job to help
pay for that, are you?

Today is the next step: I get to spend $70 on a copay to have a little visit with the otolaryngologist (the fancy pants word for the ENT or Ear Nose and Throat doctor). Truthfully, I'm a little worried for two reasons. Reason 1 is that I'm sure I'll need more than one appointment and, folks, I just can't afford that horrendous copay! Reason 2 is because Kari had similar symptoms and when she went to the doc, they put her through some crazytown tests, including running on a treadmill half naked. I do not want to do that.

Google images is my hero.

I'm hoping I get there and they're all like, "Oh, you definitely have _________ and since we figured it out so quickly, we're going to take care of that copay for you." Yes, I live in a shiny dreamworld. I had to wait two months for them to fit in an appointment for me, so I'm not really all that confident for a quick diagnosis, but you never know.

In other news: Yesterday I did cross-training instead of running, with an hour-long spin class followed by some strength sets. I already feel better. Today is a run and then another spin class and strength tomorrow. I really think for me, the strength sets help with stress, at least mentally. I'm such a cross-training addict that running just doesn't seem like enough. I want to feel pain somewhere other than just my legs AND get better at running.

The cupcakes my mom and I got on vacation. Her: triple lemon.
Me: Peanut butter chocolate.

 
This week has been one of those where I just want to eat cake and cookies and peanut butter and sleep all the time, but the workouts really do help. I still want to sleep all the time, but I'm pretty sure that's not going away. Sleep rules! I envy Pippi.


Have you ever had to save up to pay to go to the doctor? Ridiculous, I tell you. Just ridiculous.

How do you balance cross-training with your running training?

My gynecologist tried to kill me! (No, not really. It's a line from FRIENDS)

I'm a celebrity. Just ask my gynecologist.

(Yes, this one is about my visit to the gynecologist today. Feel free to quit reading now if you would rather spare yourself the dirty details. Also, I apologize for all the google images. This is one post I have no real pictures for. You're welcome.)

For some reason this appointment was a bit different, yet exactly the same as all the others. You know, go in, pee in a cup, get weighed, make small talk with the nurse while she pricks your finger and asks you all those questions that were embarrassing ten years ago, but now are just blah blah blah.

At least I got a fun band-aid!

The nurse asked if I was still on the certain type of birth control. (side note: In order to not go insane and possibly bleed to death, I'm on a rare, high-dose birth control to control my...cycle, so the nurse is always surprised at what I'm on until she reads my history). When I told her that I am, and that instead of paying the $55 per month for it, (no generic for a drug not many people take), my insurance has raised prices on everything and it now costs me $64 per month. WEE! (New clothes? What's that?)

"Hi I'm the bane of your existence."

The nurse then told me something that, if it's true, will change my life in a big way. She said that, as of January 1, 2012, all birth control will be free. Uhm...WHAT? SERIOUSLY? You mean I can soon potentially afford to eat AND clothe myself?? When I got home, I did some research and I found out that, while January 1 is very optimistic, there may be some truth to this rumor. Also, those yearly exams we have to go to, but hate with every fiber of our being? Free too! Don't get me wrong, I'm not counting my chickens before they hatch, but I have hope.

So back to the exam. When the doctor finally came into the exam room, before he even sat down, he said, "You got your hair cut." Uhh..yeah, I guess I haven't been here since I cut my hair, but surely he doesn't remember what every single patient looks like, right? I asked him if there's a picture on his little hand-held computer thingie and he said there isn't, he just remembers me. Woah, really?!

He then asked about my prescription and, as always, mentioned dropping the dose. I always have to talk him out of it because bad things happen when we do this (we've tried before). After more discussion, I convinced him. Apparently I'm his only patient on this drug long-term. THAT's how he remembers me! I'm the weird girl who takes that crazy drug. (I'm also the only person at my pharmacy who takes it. Since it's so expensive, whenever they have to reorder it, they ask if I'm going to continue to be on it long-term).

I'm also one of those people whose results always come back abnormal. They always have. Do you know what they do to you when you have abnormal results? They do something called a colposcopy and take a biopsy. Yes, it hurts. I've had it done twice. You also get to go to the doctor every six months instead of every year. Fun times! I decided to not go to my last six-month appointment. I was just annoyed and didn't see the need if they were just going to tell me the same thing I always hear (something about abnormal cells. Great. Thanks. I can do nothing with that). Yeah, the doctor mentioned it. Because, you know, I'm that girl.

I'm not gonna lie, I want a wand.

After the exam, he told me, "everything looks good". I'm never really sure what to say when my gynecologist gives me a thumbs-up on "everything". I'm sure I'll be seeing him again in a few weeks after they get my results. You know, because history has an annoyingly annoying way of repeating itself. Dagnabit.

No, my gyno's not old. This picture was just the right amount of creepy.

Tomorrow I get to go to the dentist! I've decided frozen yogurt shall be my reward for being a good patient two days in a row. I promised Alyssa I'd go to a frozen yogurt place in Chapel Hill that she's been to, and take pictures. No problem there! I have no qualms about taking pictures of myself enjoying cold, creamy deliciousness. I know you can't wait :)