Friday, June 15, 2012

Who needs pride?

I've redacted today's post due to the fact that I was wrong. That's the beauty of this being my blog. I can do wonderful things like that.

I do want to share a small excerpt, however, from the removed post.
There is a person I know who has a dog. This person has had this dog since it was, oh, maybe a month old. This dog, now four years old, still shits in the house and won't eat its own food because they feed it from the table. This person has recently been at my house and has tried explaining to me just how to train my dog (who shits in the grass and doesn't get food from the table, thankyouverymuch). This person's claim to fame is teaching my dog how to "speak"; the most pointless trick ever. When will I ever want her to bark for no reason? 
If I'm being honest, the one trick I'd like to teach her is to actually speak. "Yo mom. I gotsta pee." Now that would be useful. Teach my dog how to do THAT.

This would also be a useful trick.


  1. You know, Peanut's trainer said that in order to teach her the command "No bark!" we had to teach her to bark on command first. So at least you have a head start for that :)

  2. Wow...other pet moms are just like kid moms, annoying. Again my motto "You fuck up your kids, I'll fuck up mine". dogs too.

    1. Please tell my MIL that. She tells me how to raise my kid and my dogs. Also, has anyone noticed disappointingly few capybara references of late? You're welcome.

  3. I read your post but I couldn't comment on my phone, but as a non - dog owner who knows nothing about dogs, I'd like to say, you're doing it wrong. :)

  4. What the heck?! I'm sorry, but if your dog goes poo in the house, you have no business telling anyone how to do anything. At 4 years old pooing in the house means doggie go bye bye.

  5. I actually wish I could teach Bungee to bark on command, but that's because she never barks unless someone is at the door. I'd like a little warning!