Friday, October 5, 2012

New ways to scare the shit out of people

Have you ever perused Etsy for shits and giggles? I do it often while trying to will myself to sleep. Last night I came across a jackpot of things no one should probably ever see, let alone pay money to buy. Here are a few true "winners".

When my mom and I were in VA Beach, I saw a mosaic mirror that I really wanted, but didn't buy because, you know, that whole being on a budget thing. Last night I decided to search "mosaic" under "art" just to see what I could find.
Mosaic Dog Fox Wolf Bunny Cement Sculpture

Who, hasn't thought, at one point or another "I need a 'mosaic dog fox wolf bunny' sculpture"? I mean, come on. It's ONLY $10,000! (No, I'm not joking). The description that accompanies this beauty is worth reading, as you can probably imagine.

Searching for "dog art" brought up another winner. This one only costs a mere $800. Yes, that's all!
Hound, Whimsical Paper Mache Dog Sculpture

Basically, a really freaking expensive way to scare the shit out of the real dog. I guess it could also take the place of a real dog...if you want your friends and relatives to really worry about your sanity.

This next one is truly the winningest of them all. Find something more awesomely disturbing and I'll eat my words.
Glass Mosaic Sculpture, "Venus Envy"

I guess this could be a truly brilliant (albeit expensive) way to get the neighborhood kids to stop running through your lawn. It's practically a steal at $5,500. Plus, I bet it shines in the sun. AND it's about 7.5' tall. Who says lawn ornaments can't wear stripper shoes?

And, with that, I hope you all have a pleasant weekend filled with a lot less crazy than the people who will, undoubtedly, buy these items.


  1. Have you ever been to Regretsy?

  2. That stripper statue has a really nice rack, but those are some oddly high nipples.

    I miss when you used to blog about running so I didn't have to talk about glass nipples in your comment section.

    1. I am assuming that the stripper had a boob job.

  3. All I can say is Weird! I guess I need to start making Paper mache:)

  4. That would never scare someone out of your lawn. People would flock to it like bees to honey.

    I'm with Kara. There at least better be a Hartford race report on here!

  5. I want to put one of these up so my neighbors will stop bitching about the hilariously awesome blowup animatronic black cats in another neighbor's yard. Those things are awesome and my dogs are petrified of them.

  6. Does Gene Simmons know Venus Envy stole his shoes???

  7. I honestly read this last night and wanted to comment but I had no words....I still don't.