The one where I met Elmo

You know when you get sick with a cold twice in less than three months? Before November I hadn't been sick in over two years and now this. Balls!! I even underwent the dreaded strep test for nothing. Apparently my sore throat was caused by post-nasal drip. So...all our lives we swallow food and drinks and things are peachy, but the moment phlegm ends up down there, it sets fire to our throat? Anatomy is magical.

A picture of me this weekend, including the crazy eyes.

Other things I've been up to:

Yarn I already had and a $1 wreath form. Doing "poor" the
right way.

More knitting!

Since this was a "beginner" project, it didn't include making a thumb piece, so I was disappointed. I then tried knitting "in the round," which was a huge disaster...again and again and again.

Surprisingly, this made sense...for about five minutes.

So I've given up trying to make anything other than a scarf for now. Because I'm a weenie.

In other news...a few things I did while in New York:

I sang the ABCs with Elmo.

I went to a hockey game which included an amazing fight!
This is the aftermath.

I had my first experience with ice wine. Not too bad.

And...'BONIES! I have a strange love of Zambonies. They're like gigantic ice vacuums. What could be better?

I wish I could vacuum my house like this. Pippi would love it.

You're kidding me, right?

Starting next week, I'm going to be back to running! Insanity has taken a back seat lately since I've been sick. I attempted it a couple of times, but when taking a shower uses up all my energy, an hour-long high-intensity workout isn't very feasible. Come ooooon health!

Weekend artist

I had every intention of working out and then doing this all weekend:

Yeah, that didn't even last through Friday night.

Whaaaaat?

Around lunchtime on Friday, my brother dropped off Rocco for me to watch while they were out of town for the weekend. He and Pippi are quite the team. I had two furry, dog-shaped shadows all weekend. It was nice to eat breakfast at my desk at work this morning without them both in my face.

Also, anyone watching me trying to take them both for a walk together in the mornings had quite the laugh.

The remainder of my weekend was spent painting and installing knobs in the kitchen and building a new way to organize my earrings so they aren't sitting in a cigar box on my dresser anymore.

Friday night: knobs

"painted" with Sharpies.

Ready for baking.

Shiny!

Aaaaand...installation.

Wee.

And then Sunday I parked myself on the couch with intentions of not doing much else, and then I found this in my Real Simple magazine:

..and it occurred to me that I could make something like this to get my earrings out of that cigar box and hanging up so I can see them. I headed to Michael's for buttons and a display of some sort. I planned on nailing the buttons down...somehow. 

Well, that didn't exactly work out. I bought a really cheap wooden display case and painted it and then a new thought dawned on me (thanks to Pinterest): a cookie cooling rack!

As luck would have it, I got a sweet new cooling rack for Christmas, so I had my old, handed-down one to spare.

Bam!

 

I also worked out, but that goes without saying. This week I'm supposed to begin the "max" workouts of Insanity and I'm pretty nervous. Send me luck!

I feel like I'm on a first-name basis with these people these days.

Contractor-grade is my four-letter word

Spin class on Friday was a success! ... Well, aside from the fact that Bree, thee worst spin instructor eeveer was teeaching and her idea of get-you-pumped music is Taylor Swift and Ke$ha. I remember now why I avoid her classes. I had to take it a little slower than normal because I was struggling to breathe, but a made it the full hour! 

As for the running on Saturday, I had a change of plans. I received a check I wasn't expecting late last week for $32, which, as it turns out, is exactly how much a gallon of paint costs. The luck! Since the nastiness left by the previous owner of my house on the master bathroom walls was seriously grossing me out, I decided to start there. I'd decided a while ago I wanted to paint it dark purple.

My inspiration:

No, I'm not kidding.

My final choice:

I've never seen grapes this dark.

I spent the better part of Saturday painting (with ELF on in the background, of course). I've decided my least favorite color in the world is the contractor-grade off-white color they paint walls that sucks up everything, including the previous owner's nastiness and the first coat of paint you try to cover it up with. Also? The big, contractor-grade sheet mirrors in bathrooms are my NEMESIS! I can't seem to find online how much the mirror the size of the one that was in my master bathroom weighs, but the fact that I didn't break it or cut off my toes removing it from the wall, is a miracle. Holy mother of HEAVY! In hindsight, I probably should have asked a big, strong man to help me but patience isn't exactly my strong suit.













Without further ado, my new bathroom:

Doesn't look quite impressive enough? How about now?

I decided a room of this color needed some big, gaudy gold accents. I'm pretty much in love with the mirror and the picture frame, both of which I got on ridiculous sales, thanks to Michael's and HomeGoods. I always find myself walking around HomeGoods thinking, "I have no idea what this is, but I think I need it." And, in case you missed my previous post about that dog print, you can find it here.

Pippi was extremely unimpressed with my renovation, but, as usual, found herself at home protecting the living room from intruders.

I also did something that will, hopefully, make our lives a little less crazy and bark-y.

And, like that, I've become the old lady of the neighborhood.

One more thing I need to share, because it's kind of a big deal in my world—after 30 years, I may have finally figured out a way to make my hair stay wavy. Accidentally go to bed with wet hair up in a messy bun.

We'll see how long it lasts.

I spent the rest of my weekend cleaning the house. Pippi still tries to attack the vacuum. Any advice on how to get this to stop, FOR THE LOVE??

New ways to scare the shit out of people

Have you ever perused Etsy for shits and giggles? I do it often while trying to will myself to sleep. Last night I came across a jackpot of things no one should probably ever see, let alone pay money to buy. Here are a few true "winners".

When my mom and I were in VA Beach, I saw a mosaic mirror that I really wanted, but didn't buy because, you know, that whole being on a budget thing. Last night I decided to search "mosaic" under "art" just to see what I could find.

Mosaic Dog Fox Wolf Bunny Cement Sculpture

Who, hasn't thought, at one point or another "I need a 'mosaic dog fox wolf bunny' sculpture"? I mean, come on. It's ONLY $10,000! (No, I'm not joking). The description that accompanies this beauty is worth reading, as you can probably imagine.



Searching for "dog art" brought up another winner. This one only costs a mere $800. Yes, that's all!

Hound, Whimsical Paper Mache Dog Sculpture

Basically, a really freaking expensive way to scare the shit out of the real dog. I guess it could also take the place of a real dog...if you want your friends and relatives to really worry about your sanity.



This next one is truly the winningest of them all. Find something more awesomely disturbing and I'll eat my words.

Glass Mosaic Sculpture, "Venus Envy"

I guess this could be a truly brilliant (albeit expensive) way to get the neighborhood kids to stop running through your lawn. It's practically a steal at $5,500. Plus, I bet it shines in the sun. AND it's about 7.5' tall. Who says lawn ornaments can't wear stripper shoes?


And, with that, I hope you all have a pleasant weekend filled with a lot less crazy than the people who will, undoubtedly, buy these items.

Trash TV makes me feel smart

This past weekend I decided it was time, again, to be crafty. I'm getting increasingly sick of looking at my sad, naked walls. Thankfully, I had all the supplies I needed for a new project: some canvasses I'd gotten on sale and hadn't used, fabric I purchased from Etsy, and staples.

Pretty fabric.

I'm not going to pretend I didn't get this idea from Pinterest. 

*SHAPOW*

All-in-all, this probably cost me maybe $40. Since I already had the canvasses, I only recently spent the $24 for the fabric, and I have a good amount left over to add more canvasses...after payday.

I then had another bright idea for the third wall in my dining room, between two windows.

Fabric is so versatile.

At least it's prettier than Pippi's wall.

My dog is so high maintenance.

Now, the fun stuff.

I decided this week to take a couple of vacation days. Since the thought of taking a staycation at my house seemed about as fun as spending a day at work, I jumped at the chance to take my staycation days 20 miles away, with friends. Unfortunately, due to meetings at work, I had to split my days off up but in the long run I think it was a fantastic idea.

Monday evening Pippi and I packed up to spend some time at Mike and Nicole's. Monday was Mike's 30th birthday so we all went out for dinner. (No, the dogs didn't join).

Nothing says Happy Birthday like a shot of tequila and a
sombrero.

Yesterday was my first day off for the week and it was fabulously fun and relaxing. Nicole, their friend Shane, and I spent the afternoon antique and goodwill shopping. I found my new favorite store.

Darn. I was really hoping to buy a creepy baby doll head!

And then, for my workout for the day, we busted out Insanity. Holy mother of PAIN! The speed at which these people can do these insane (heh. Get it?) workouts is nuts. I'm convinced they're robots.

My favorite part of this whole image is the correct uses of
you're and your.

There was also some watching of The Bachelor Pad. Because watching trash tv is just so much more fun with company. I didn't even know this little piece of genius existed before Monday night. Now I wish I could afford cable.

Using the term "star" extremely loosely.

OH! Milestone alert! Yesterday, for the first time ever, Pippi fetched! Usually I'll throw a ball, she'll run, and then run back to me without having picked up the ball, like she thought I endlessly produced tennis balls. Yesterday, more than once, she actually picked up the ball and brought it back to me! This may seem minor, but believe me, it's like proof that miracles really do happen. I didn't even have to use my magic wand. Maybe this is the first step on my way to teaching her to bring me useful things.

Martha Stewart. without the lawsuit.

So, I know the "rule" for decorating a home on a budget is to to it one room at a time, but on a budget like mine I've been doing it one wall at a time. Literally. So, I took care of the back wall by hanging up clearance tablecloths and calling them curtains so I've moved on to the facing wall, aka-my plate wall.

etsy and the clearance section at Target have been my best friends with this one.

When I get more plates, I'll move them closer together so it makes more sense, but for now it's a little sparse. Also? I made the plate hangers myself. Thank you, Pinterest (and Martha Stewart). Penny pincher? That's me!

Yep, there's an armadillo on my wall. And an
alpaca. You were expecting "normal" from me?

This weekend I discovered an awesome website that was offering 50% off all their clearance stuff and found a few more gems for the plate wall.

Originally $10 each. I got them for $2.50 each.

Originally $32 for the set. My price? $10 for the set

Original price: $38. My price: $9. (It was a splurge.)

Pretty soon all of my guests will be forced to hang out in my dining room; the only room worthy of company. Not that I get many guests.

An interesting thing happened this weekend that I must share. I really really wish someone was with me as a witness.

I went to pick up a prescription at Walgreen's and, as usual, the guy behind the counter asked for my last name and birth date. I told him both and then spelled my last name for him. H-I-N-K-L-E. When he couldn't find my information in the computer, he asked me to spell my name again, so I did, and really enunciated it this time. AYCCCHH-III-ENNN-KAAY-ELL-EEEE. Again, he couldn't find it. I've filled prescriptions there before, so I knew I was in their system. As a last ditch effort, dude went to the shelf and looked under H and *ta-da* there was my prescription. He showed it to me and told me my last name was spelled wrong. HINKLE. I told him it wasn't. It was spelled exactly right; exactly what I'd told him it was. Twice. So I paid and walked away to go look for some band-aids. 

As it turns out, the band-aids were right beside the pharmacy, out of eyesight of the pharmacists. Since there are a bajillion different kinds of band-aids these days, it took me a few minutes to take stock of what was there. Brain-deep in an adhesive bandage haze, I hear the pharmacy dude tell the other pharmacy chick that "that girl spelled her last name wrong and I couldn't find her in the computer. She told me H-I-N-K-O-E twice. But it was actually H-I-N-K-L-E."

Why why WHY would I tell him the wrong name on purpose? My to-do list for Saturday: feed the dog, pick up prescription, confuse the hell out of the pharmacy dude. And, if my brain worked faster, I would have walked back around the corner and said something really witty back to him. 

Have you ever overheard someone saying something snarky about you? I think this was a first for me.

You don't know what I'm thinking when you leave me alone all day.

Are you good at comebacks? I always think of good ones way too late.

Countdown madness

I'm counting down to so many things right now, I must share. (Yes, I count down to things. Because I'm 12. Haven't we gone over this?)


Days until my HALF MARATHON:

Holy crap! That's less than the amount of miles I'll be running!! Scared? Yep. Excited? YEP! Am I going to rock my last long run of 12 miles this weekend? Hopefully.

(Times I've mentally hallucinated about this race: about a million bajillion)


Days until I  finally get to join the world of "Lookie, I have an iPhone. I'm cool!":

...which is also the amount of days until you finally get to find out why I purchased those Legos.

 
Days until The Hunger Games is in theaters:

CAN. NOT. WAIT!

And, because I'm a sucker for projects, my latest Pinterest-inspired art project:

The original

Mine:

It occurred to me that this would probably only look ok in a kid's room. (Note to self: Next time tone down the color palette). I'm not quite sure what to do with it. Unfortunately there are no longer any young girls in my family, so maybe I'll try to sell it on etsy.  At least it gave me something to do for an afternoon.


Are you counting down to anything right now?

Have you ever made anything (other than food) that you saw on Pinterest?