Home Improvement failure

Ever since I bought my house, I've had all kinds of ideas about how to make cheap home improvements. I've really only so far mentioned the successful projects. Last weekend I had a rash of unsuccessful projects and started my week off feeling like a total failure. At least at work I know what I'm doing...usually.

Late summer last year, I bought a cheap ($30) 5-shelf bookcase from Target.

Laminate/wood composite crap

It's one of the ones that is literally held together by the cheap fold-out backing, which is nailed onto the frame. Basically: if you ever want to move it after you build it, good luck!

And that's just what I tried to do: move it. By myself. The bottom collapsed.

Now I needed a place to put my books! Soooo I decided to take the hand-me-down TV stand I was going to try to sell on Craigslist (also made of laminate and not selling anyway) and paint it.

Let's just make a long story short: you cannot paint laminate furniture...at least, not successfully.

The other project I wanted to attempt was making a "rug" out of a canvas drop cloth. Sounds really lame, right? I know, but hear me out. Several posts on Pinterest told me it was possible and people have been successful. Since I will soon need some area rugs and I can't afford them, I figured buying a $10 drop cloth and using some leftover paint was worth a try. I had it all laid out and ready to go and then I got cold feet. My confidence was shaken. I just couldn't GO ON!

Ok, it wasn't that bad. I only softly wept...and then consoled myself with frozen yogurt.

There was one "home improvement" project that was successful, however.

FLOWERS!

Too much?

Operation #RAGE

You know that stuff the dentist shoots into your gums before drilling into your teeth? This morning I had three shots of it put into the muscles of my lower back. Shockingly, it did nothing for the pain in my SPINE. Last week my chiropractor let me know that he was sending me to another doctor to prescribe inti-inflammatory drugs to try to help heal my back. I don't need freaking PAIN MANAGEMENT. But that's ok, because it didn't stop the pain anyway. Throwing money away? Not really my thing. So frustrating!

Pain management at its finest.

In good news...

Looks what's sitting in my dining room, waiting to be installed!

That, my friends, is 17 beautiful boxes of laminate (fake wood) flooring. My building manager finally approved for me to use funds from my stewardship account to replace the nasty carpet on my first floor. My friend and his dad are going to install it and I can't wait. (FYI: For the flooring, quarter rounds for around the walls, and the padding, the total was less than $600. Need a deal on just about anything? I will find it!)

 Case in point:

I smell a cheap lunch.

Now, where to find affordable rugs?

Don't spend too much, mom. I need more new toys!

Also, know what I found out today, by accident? Friday is a work holiday! I didn't even know! Best news I could have ever hoped for today. Four-day work week FTW!

The ominous black hole of nasty

It's been so long since we last spoke that for now I'm going to skip right over Christmas break and go into my latest accomplishment.

For Christmas I received a gift card for $50 to Lowe's. Now, before I became a homeowner the only section of the hardware store I frequented was the flower section. Mostly I'd just "ooh" and "ahh" over all the pretty flowers that I'd someday plant at my own house and leave having bought nothing.

Now that I own a house, let me tell you, getting that gift card on Christmas morning was like inheriting a fortune (hey, everyone has a different definition of "fortune").

This morning I had planned on spending a relaxing, lazy day on the couch with Pippi....until I ended up in the bathroom faucet section on the Lowe's website. Before I knew it, I was watching the handy video on installing a bathroom faucet and posted this on Facebook.

Apparently I'm now a man with intermediate level home improvement skill.
And, yes, I remembered to turn off the water first.

Some background: You know those little things in your house that annoy the heck out of you but, for one reason or another, you're unable to fix them right now? Ever since the day I moved into my house, the master bathroom was almost all those little things rolled into one. The dude who owned the house before me was a slob. And that's one thing I didn't find out about him from his mail. When I say he was a slob, I mean it to say that it's pretty obvious he didn't clean his master bathroom. EVER. The three areas where this is abundantly apparent?

1. The toilet, which now has a ring around it from where the filth ate away at the porcelain (you only think I'm kidding)
2. The bottom of the tub, which is permanently stained. I've scrubbed it A LOT, with just about every cleaning scrub and brush I own and it still looks like someone rubbed it with a black crayon.
3. THE SINK FAUCET. The metal was being eaten away and the insides of the plastic knobs (heh...knobs) were green with mold. Also, the plunger in the sink was missing, so it was an ominous black hole of nasty.

I texted my brother to ask if this is actually something I could do on my own and he seemed confident and offered to help if I needed it when he got off work. Since he knows me pretty well, I took this as my cue to just go for it.

Are you ready for two of the most boring photos ever?

under the sink. <yawn>

pipes under the sink. <zzzz>

Clearly I'm not meant for a career in plumbing—laying under a sink, showing no butt crack, and attempting to loosen very tight things in very tight places with large tools. Also, I almost dropped a wrench on my face. I did, however, rediscover my inner potty-mouth, which reminded me my next post will be about running.

Here's the disgusting "before" faucet and black hole.

And now, just like me, you can't un-see its penis-esque
quality. You're welcome.

Here's me, posing victoriously with the old phallic-shaped faucet.

If you or anyone you know is in the market for a rusty,
moldy piece of history, let me know.

And, after much colorful language and many brushes with a wrench-dented face, the beauteous finished product!

And now I have a mostly full tub of plumber's putty which, unless someone wants to help me buy a new toilet, I may need to sculpt fun things out of, a la Play-Doh (yes, I had to stop myself a few times in the middle of the faucet replacement).

I asked my friend after it was done if this ego boost I sensed is what men feel like every time they complete a home improvement project and she suspects that it is. What say ye?

Finally.

I'm a homeowner!

Signing the last of the paperwork!

Receiving the key to MY house!

As soon as the deal was done, Amanda and I headed over to the house to begin a full-scale cleaning. Soon after, my dad, brothers, and friend, Tom came over to install two ceiling fans for me. Saturday, the moving began.

My dad and half brother, Zeth, taking a break.

k-k-k-kitchen

master bedroom (Does this mean I'm the "master"?)

Being the neighborhood rebel by installing an American flag.

Jeremy, replacing smoke detector batteries.

My table-less dining room.

Guest bathroom

Master bathroom. Cleaning this room was a test of my gag reflex.

Didn't turn out too shabby.

Since taking these pictures, I've painted my front door and half the kitchen. Being able to grow six inches would really make painting much easier. Anyone know of a way I can do that?

I've also met a neighbor. Or, what I thought was a neighbor. I was taking Pippi for a walk yesterday and this dude with a little dog asked if it was ok if our dogs meet. I was hesitant, but Pippi didn't bite his face off. SCORE! Dude then asked if I just moved in and told me that, "this is actually my ex-wife's dog". Oh. Umm. Awesome? I'm glad I didn't tell him which house I moved into.

Today I'm exhausted, but I get to wake up a half hour later than I used to for work, and my drive to the bus lot is probably all of three miles. That's about 20 less miles than I'm used to. I'm looking forward to not having to fill my gas tank up once a week!

Take your head off and have a drink!

My weekend started off with The Hunger Games FINALLY! It did not disappoint. Pure amazing. I was a little miffed about a couple of parts that weren't like the book, though, and I was wishing my SIL had read the book so we could discuss it. I immediately texted Alyssa, who confirmed the one part that was bothering me the most. It was that important.

In case you saw the movie but didn't read the book,
that's not where she got the mockingjay pin from!

I spent the drive home trying to not throw up. I thought it was maybe the camera angles in the movie that gave me motion sickness, but when I felt that way almost the entire weekend, I figured it was something else. As a result, again, no long run this weekend. I'm working from home tomorrow, so I'm going to try to get in an hour of running tomorrow and another day this week.

And now, on to the open house!

Dining room...six chairs that all are different.

 

Stairs look like they're from a horror movie. More lighting
Please!

 

My first indication a single man lives here currently. So gross!

Master bedroom. I've never lived in a master bedroom! I'm going to be fancy.

Guest bathroom says "Hi, I need a makeover!"

Guest room closet. Go Red Sox!

Jeremy and I were going around opening all the shades. We're totally related.
Oh, this is the guest room, for when you all come over to visit :)

Dear Kitchen: Don't worry, I will make you pretty!

Aside from the fact that most of the light fixtures need upgrades (and a few need to be added), and we'd need to install ceiling fans, along with all the painting that needs to be done, the house is in really decent shape. I was surprised at how clean all the carpets are and at all the yard space the house comes with. There are still a few questions that I've e-mailed to the Community Home Trust people, but I've asked to put a reserve on the house (since I'm the first one on the wait list and I don't want anyone to take it from me), so this may just be my future home!

On a more random note, WTH is a "lilduval"?

Saturday night I followed the home awesomeness with some hockey awesomeness. Nicole and Mike, whom I met in February at the Myrtle Beach marathon (through Alyssa), invited me to a Hurricanes game. It was a great time, although there weren't enough fights for my liking. Perhaps the best part was during the breaks, about 10 random mascots came out onto the ice and it was comedy gold. During the first break they played a very short hockey game, and during the second break it was musical chairs...with three chairs. Nothing is funnier than a bunch of people dressed in huge costumes falling all over the ice. I promise you.

aaaand...cue hilarious laughter.

The best comment of the night goes to Nicole, who wondered, "Do you think, at the end of the night, they all take their heads off and have a drink?"

I bet they do.

Sunday started off pretty lame, but then I realized...I need to start packing! And then I started panicking, which sounds almost the same, but it's not. I went to town on my closet and dresser, and the result?

Goodwill is getting a ton of my amazing castaways, including a couple swimsuits
from when I was on the swim team in high school. I'm so awesome.

That's ten years of cell phone gold right there. Now, what to do with them?

Have you saved "mementos" thinking you may want them someday? (No, that's not why I saved the phones. I just don't know how to clear them so some evil genius can't hack into them and steal my identity.

Have you ever dressed as a mascot? I want to know what it's like in there.

Do you know what a "lilduval" is?

The attack

Yesterday I was attacked! Ok, not like that. I was trying my best to ignore it, but the allergy monster found me and I sneezed more yesterday than I think I had in the last month. I walked around yesterday with bloodshot eyes and a stuffy head and no one was like, "You look like hell". I'll take that as a win.

Thankfully my nose is still intact.

Last night I screwed up my system by taking two birth control pills (because I was too lazy to go to the pharmacy after my run yesterday), a Benadryl, a shot of nose spray, and a vitamin before bed. While I slept amazingly well, breakfast didn't excite me this morning and normally it's my main motivation to get out of bed. (Ok, that and Pippi pawing my face and jumping on me).

Today I get to go to the dentist and later this afternoon I am meeting with the financial counselor, and then all my prerequisites for getting a house through the Community Home Trust are done and the real talks can begin!

On a random note: I just pulled a tick off of Rocco's...manhood. Having dogs really is awesome.


And, because I have no other updates, here's some Hunger Games humor for you.

This made me laugh out loud this morning.

Oh Katniss.

Did you expect anything less from "the boy with the bread"?

Seriously. If you haven't read the books, you really knead to!

I wish my friends would send me texts like this.

Hopefully tomorrow I'll have some actual updates and a real post. (I know I know, don't get too excited).

Elmo's got moves!

Yesterday I got back on the horse, folks. And by horse, I mean the pavement in my neighborhood...in my running shoes. I decided to switch it up and, instead of running for a certain mileage, I ran for an hour. It turns out, running for time instead of distance makes me feel much less stressed during the run.

When I got home, after running almost six miles in 56 minutes, it occurred to me that not too long ago, six miles was a long run. This is my longest weekday run so far. I'm planning on keeping it up.

Since it was also yet another dizzy run, I had to take a couple of breaks to lean over on the side of the road to keep from falling over. This normally annoys the crap out of me, but yesterday it was lucky.

I hope it's a sign.

I was almost ran over by an older lady in a white car who apparently didn't think my life was very important. I attribute the fact that I'm still alive to the clovers...or, you know, because I jumped out of the way.

I was a good girl afterward and foam rolled and I don't know if it's a coincidence or not, but no pain in my left calf today! WEE!

best friend/worst enemy

Now for the home stuff. No actual updates until after tomorrow, but I've been decorating in my head. Since I bought the tumblers this weekend, I found some amazing place mats online. (No, I don't have a kitchen table yet. What's your point?)

My best friend's mom makes magic with a sewing machine and I asked her if she'd make me these magical place mats. I can't wait! (Never ever did I think I'd be excited about place mats :)

I'm also thinking of using stencils throughout the house (in small doses) to add some interest for cheap.

I love this one for a kitchen back splash.

Pebbles. Reminds me of the Flintstones :)

I saw a tutorial online on how to paint on curtains. So, buy cheap curtains and make them look expensive. Sounds like my kinda project! This pattern reminds me of the sun rising or of mountains. Great for curtains, right?

...except probably a purple color scheme...DUH.

Also, I'm totally making this to go in the hallway at the top of the stairs.

Oh, and it WILL be sweet!

And two must-haves:

Good stuff for the back door and hallway.

I am also in very dire need of new running clothes. I was grossing myself out during my run yesterday from the smell of my shirt. It's a stinky time to be saving money, folks!

On another random note, my friend introduced this video to me this weekend and it cracks me up every time. It will make your day brighter, I promise.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WRfarDLRkSA&feature=fvst


Do you run for time or distance, or do you switch it up? Which do you like better?

Any fun home decorating ideas to share?