Wednesday, July 18, 2012

If I made the rules

I have such compelling thoughts, you guys. Seriously. Here is a short list of things that would happen if I made the rules.

I'd have the power over the thermostat of the outside world. Suck it, Mother Nature. You fail.

Peanut butter would be a vegetable.

Dogs would have thumbs and Pippi would fold my laundry while I'm at work. Also, it would make for some awesome submissions to TextFromDog.

Necessities would be free. No one wants anyone they are going to be near to go without toilet paper, tampons, get the picture.

My water bottle would be self-filling and my bladder would be self-emptying.

Instead of the bathroom, it would be called the pooproom.

The sound of sirens would be outlawed on the radio and the sound of a doorbell would be outlawed on the TV.

Cars would have high beams in the back to warn that jerk behind you to turn his off.

Teleporting would be invented. I mean, come on. We live in 2012!


Post-lunch nap time would be mandatory. (Kids have it MADE!)

The cure for anything that ails you would be a massage and a pedicure.

Good looking people would not be allowed to be jerks.

All running shoes would have a purple option.

What rules would you make if you made the rules?
Some easy thinking for your Wednesday. I kept thinking it was Friday. I'm not looking forward to the next two days.


  1. So funny! I like the dog and laundry idea:) and seriously why the heck has teleporting not been invented? I want to go to Hawaii in 1 second!

  2. You know the bladder does self-empty, right?

    I'd outlaw junkmail.

  3. But pooproom doesn't make sense. Most of the time, you don't poop. Unless you have some sort of pooping issue. Which is totally cool. Freak.

    1. It would be, because with Emily's new plan, no one would ever have to pee, so that's all you would use the bathroom for.

  4. Lunch break would be longer than an hour so I can run more than 3 stinkin' miles. (it takes too long to change/cool down/wipe off sweat/change again)

  5. Where do I vote to make ruler?

  6. Your ideas all sound amazing, I'll just vote for you to be ruler of the world forever. Especially the never having to pee again part, and outside thermostat control. FYI, kids don't get naps anymore.