Tuesday, August 16, 2011
Tuesday inspiration: Life
So, remember yesterday when I stated my goal for yesterday's three miles was an overall sub-10 minute pace? Well, how about three miles in 29:40, for a 9:53 pace? Woop woop! Now, to see if I can keep it up for four miles today. I think I'll start running outside again next week. Throw a wrench in it all.
So, onto my Tuesday Inspiration rant.
In having a conversation with a friend this weekend, I realized something that I think I knew, but really hadn't given it much thought before. And that is..life is good, finally.
I don't think I'm divulging any personal secrets here when I say that, for a really long time, life really sucked. And yes, I know that I've had a good life. I'm not saying that I haven't. I wouldn't change it because I've learned many lessons along the way, but there are some things I'd have done very differently.
I think I had pretty low self-esteem for many years, until...maybe a couple of years ago. I don't think I could say that any of my dating relationships have been "healthy". I know that's a pretty big statement, but I stand by it. I've learned many many lessons from them and I think now I'm just cautious, but I think that's better than being screwed over (no?).
My weight really fluctuated during that time. I definitely had a terrible relationship with food and my body image. When I got to college I was maybe 20-pounds heavier than I am now (or my "healthy weight" that I've maintained now for maybe five years) and then I went through a major period of deprivation. I wasn't feeling great about myself, and I realize that now. I didn't then. By college graduation, I was back to being chubby. Watch this:
college: freshman year (Don't mind the hideous hair and dress. Long story)
college: sophomore year (I was dangerously underweight. I loved that dress. Now I want to burn it)
college: sophomore/junior year
college: senior year (I still have that jacket and it's ridiculously huge on me now)
college graduation (I hate this picture, but I keep it around as a reminder of how far I've come)
Today! (I don't know what I weigh. I haven't weighed myself or looked at the scale at the doctors' office in probably three years...and I like it that way!)
I was always active (once I found the gym in college, I was hooked), but apparently dealing with stress is not my strong suit. Now I'm definitely happier and healthier....and I've found running :) Life is good!
Have you had a "weighty" journey?