"Crazy of the day"

I have tried to let this go, but I just can't. It's just too epic. (and by epic, I mean epically aggravating and ridiculous).

Giuliana Rancic. If you haven't heard of her, she's an E! News host and she and her husband star in their own reality show. This is what she looks like:

Yesterday a friend brought this to my attention. It's her "meal plan," in her own words. Some of the highlights:

"I'm at the gym by 5am so i don't have enough time to eat and digest before i get on the treadmill. Therefore, since i DON'T drink coffee, I drink a tea called Yerba Mate."

Breakfast is the most important meal of the day, dummy...especially before a workout. Even a banana would work. I doubt she has enough energy to work out too hard anyhow.
 
I wanted to know what yerba mate is, so I found online that "Some studies indicate that people who drink large amounts of yerba mate over prolonged periods may be at increased risk of various types of cancer, including cancer of the mouth, esophagus and lungs." (A small price to pay for looking anorexic, I guess).

"After my workout, I head to my 6:30 morning meeting and I drink a 16 oz bottle of water with lemon and a pinch of cayenne pepper in it. This is a great way to wake up your body and get it ready for the food you will soon put into it."

I don't know about you, but my body needs no prepping for having food put in it, especially after a workout. And also...cayenne pepper in water. Yeah, that's normal.
 

"Coffee can actually hold onto fat whereas green and oolong tea flushes fat out (love that)."

 Dear Giuliana, you can't just make stuff up to make yourself feel better. Coffee does not hold onto fat (whatever that means), and there is nothing you can consume to "flush out" fat either.

"I also open up a bottle of GT's Kombucha ... I sip this throughout the day because it is very good for you and it totally helps with hunger cravings."

So does eating.
 

"At about 7:15am I have an ORGANIC grapefruit. This is an amazing fruit that helps keep you regular and also helps flush out fat."

Again with the flushing of fat. Methinks someone needs an edumacation.

"And i ALWAYS say NO BUTTER, NO OIL...instead tell them to cook it in a light mist of Pam cooking spray."

She mentions several times that she uses no butter or oil. Some oils are good for you. You know, with the Omega-3's and all. Maybe she doesn't care since she's going to get cancer from her tea anyway. Also, she says many times to "tell them". I guess she thinks we all have personal chefs.

"I looooove dessert but I used to love it too much. So much so that I had to completely cut it out for a while. Now, I will have a bite here or there but I find it is easier to just pass instead of getting that sugar in your bloodstream and then going nuts and chowing down the whole pie. Instead, I order berries after dinner or some sort of fruit."

I'm convinced she's alien. In my experience, a bowl full of berries does not get rid of a chocolate craving. Also, completely cutting something out of your diet that you loooooove? Dude, life is short!
 

"I used to be obsessed with Frozen Yogurt but I found that it is better on your body and weight to have a scoop of real ice cream than a cup of frozen yogurt since the fro yo is all chemicals and your body doesn't digest it properly."

Really? Because I know people who are lactose intolerant but can still eat (and digest) frozen yogurt, but not ice cream. I think she's reading from the "fake facts" encyclopedia again.

"I will enjoy the "cheat" food by having a little bit of it and giving the rest away. For instance, if i just MUST have pasta, I will let my husband order it and have some bites of his. Or I will order a healthy dish and ask for a half order of the pasta on the side. I will eat half of the side of pasta and pass the rest around the table so my friends can try it to. That way you are impressing the table with your generosity and cutting lots of calories."

First: A bite of pasta is not a cheat. Second: How much do you think her husband hates going out to eat with her? Third: Sharing a plate of plain pasta with your friends will not impress them. Share a brownie instead and then maybe (or give them money. That's sure to impress them).

"I overcame my sugar cravings!"

If you say so, lady. I'm sure if I dangled a huge piece of cake in front of you, you'd want to take a bite.

And, so, my "crazy of the day" award goes to Giuliana Rancic. Her reward? A tip. EAT SOME FOOD!