I've been absent from blogging for a while now. Basically? Life happened. Life, and me working through some things. Getting back to running after an almost five-month hiatus while dealing with a back "injury" has put a lot of things into perspective.
It feels like I'm starting over. My first run back was ok, but the resulting muscle pain was ridiculous. I knew it wasn't going to be easy, but I guess I figured maybe I'm lucky and I'll bounce back quickly.
Nuh-uh!
Endurance is earned, not given. You have to earn that shit back, guys. It's no joke! My training plan for my next race doesn't start until next week, but since my first long run (next weekend...already!) is six miles, I knew I needed to work up to it and put in some base miles so I decided I wouldn't wait for the doctor's ok and started running again about a month ago. I'm quite the risk-taker.
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| I'm in LOVE with my shoes. Sorry, Brooks. I'm a traitor. |
Before my running hiatus, I'd gotten to the point where I felt like I was comparing myself with my running counterparts (who are much more competitive and better runners than me) and it wasn't enjoyable anymore. I was almost ready to throw in the towel.
Almost.
This past Sunday while I was running with my friend, Lindsey, we discussed this issue and I realized I wasn't the only one who'd experienced this "runner's guilt." We didn't have a particularly fast run and we weren't competing with each other. We ran at a comfortable pace and walked when we needed it. It was stress-free and, dare I say it, enjoyable! But we were still putting in the miles. I can't remember the last time before this year that I actually enjoyed a run. No, seriously.
Why was I comparing myself with everyone else? Why did I let it bother me that I'm slower than they are and not wanting to run longer races? Epiphany: Why not be in competition...with only myself? I know, novel idea, right? Welcome to adulthood, self.
Yes, my goal at my next race is to PR (and at the one after that and the one after that) but I'm not going to beat myself up if I don't. I'm just going to enjoy the journey...and embrace my inner tortoise.
Love your new shoes! If I compared myself to most of my running group I'd feel pretty badly about my running. I like that running is individualized! Competition against others only matters if you're going to win the race, and that's not me - so I will just continue to compare my running to my own previous times :) It's great that you are enjoying running...from what my injured friends say, it can take a while before running feels "normal" again. Good luck!
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