Sleeping like a freefaller

So I learned something new last week. After another week of no progress in fixing my back, my doctor asked me what position I sleep in at night. I told him I sleep on my stomach. He asked me, shocked, "You don't sleep on your back?" Apparently sleeping on your stomach is to your back what killing defenseless puppies is to humanity. Didn't you know?? So, I was told to put a pillow under my abdomen before falling asleep. I tried it and, after about two hours of lying awake uncomfortable, I gave up on that genius plan.

Also, as with just about everything in life, did you know that your sleeping "style" says mysterious things about you?

Also, apparently, believing all this makes you misspell the word fetus.

This weekend I decided I was going to try watching a new series on Netflix. I'd been hearing good things about House of Cards, so I decided to give it a try. Spoiler Alert: the first episode begins with a dog getting hit by a car. He goes on to whine and cry in pain for at least a minute. It probably goes on longer than that, but sixty seconds was all I could take before hitting 'stop' and completely giving up on the entire series. Yep, that's all it takes.

Any dog-friendly series I should check out?

Also, this happened this weekend:

It got to the point where my hair was getting annoying and I'd just put it up all the time, so it was time (either that or Kara's black widow infestation stories put me over the edge). I got about six inches cut off. The lady who cut my hair was a little whackadoodle. Apparently she was a graphic designer for ten years and she hated it, so she spent the entire appointment trying to convince me to switch careers. Luckily I'm not that easily influenced.



I've been feeling left out with everyone running races recently. I'm ready to get back on the horse! Three more weeks to go until I can hopefully start running again. I guess I'm going to have to learn to sleep with a pillow under my abdomen. Or maybe someone can invent a way to just numb my lower back? Or maybe a donor disc between my L4 and L5 vertebrae? Is that even possible? I've already got a race in mind for next March, so hopefully things start looking up.

I see da future, Mom. It looks bright!

I might eat my own arm today

Welp. The chiropractor has put me on a minimum 4-week running hiatus. Apparently I've been re-injuring the angry disc in my back by doing things like arm weight exercises and running. I don't know what that's all about, but it looks like body weight exercises and elliptical-ling will be the name of the game for the next month. I actually had  running date planned on Friday and I had to bow out. So annoying! I'm going to have to start back at the beginning with training.

As luck would have it, my brother and sister-in-law, who just put their house on the market, brought over their elliptical for me to "babysit" until they get settled into a new house. I'm so psyched! We bonded for a very sweaty hour yesterday.

They think, someday, I'm giving it back. So cute.

I'm also going to be babysitting Rocco more often for a while, as people will be walking through my brother's house until it's sold.

It's really too bad these two don't get along.

And I'm ending this post here because I just realized none of the food places are open on campus this week and I didn't bring lunch. And I can't park at work, so I don't have my car. I'm freaking out a little bit. Ok, a lot.

P.S. I have had to set my comments to word verification again because I've been receiving no less than 20 spam comments every day for the past couple of weeks. Sorry for the annoyance!

flatulent airplane

It's been quite an interesting couple of weeks. Last week I flew to Rochester, NY to spend a few days. On my first flight there they boarded everyone into the plane and then, ten minutes later, they announced that there was two much fuel on the plane and they had to unload some of it before we could take off. I'm not going to lie. It made me a little nervous. (Although better the plane have too much gas than the passengers. Right? RIGHT?)

A few minutes later it was then announced that they needed six volunteers to get off the plane and take another flight and they'd give each volunteer a $200 voucher on a future flight. Did I take it? You better believe I took it!

The flight I was put on arrived a couple hours later than I was originally supposed to land but, dude, 200 free dollars!

More about my visit in NY later. There are some other exciting things to announce, too.

This next thing needs some background explanation.

When I bought my house, through the Community Home Trust, there are certain perks (and some cons as well) that came with it. One of these things is the stewardship account, which contains money that belongs to the home. I pay a monthly fee into the home’s account, and while I live here, I may apply for money from the stewardship account to pay for replacement of certain major systems. The account stays with the home as it is bought and sold.

One thing I've been wanting to replace for a while is the carpet on the first floor. It was never high quality carpet anyway, and it's pretty run down and stained. I really want to put in wood floors.

I had to schedule for my property manager to come and inspect the carpet to assure it's in need of replacing. I was worried for days that she'd turn it down, but as soon as she walked in, she basically approved it just standing at the front door.

I don't know how long it'll take, but from the sounds of it, hopefully not too long. I can't wait! Any advice on where to purchase non-ridiculously-expensive rugs?

And my last bit of exciting news...(drum roll)....

This happened!

I have a coworker who pointed out the Groupon to me and I hemmed and hawed over whether to do it or not and then the stars aligned. I got a freelance check right before the Groupon purchase time period expired and just decided to go for it. Years ago I was studying to become a fitness trainer, but at the time I had three jobs and not enough time to study and it fell by the wayside. This time I'm going for it. Let the studying (and getting back to the gym) begin!

Doucheweasel Harper

Remember back when I totally dumped on Jillian Michaels?

Well, I still feel the same way about her. Nothing has changed there. She still needs to put a shirt on (although I dig her arms). I thought, when the new season of The Biggest Loser aired and she was coming back, that I was going to hate it so much, but I have a new "least favorite thing" about the show and, as much as it pains me to say, it's Bob Harper! I've never really done a "review" on him, but I do mention liking him in several posts (just not showing as much love for his workout videos).

I used to enjoy him for the fact that he wasn't a douchebag, but that's all changed. Have you seen him lately?

deerrrrrr....

I just can't. He's gotten worse than Jillian at the "yell at them until they throw up" exercise plan. Jillian still does her fair share, but it's pretty bad when she is the one who tells Bob to stop yelling because "he's making a weird sound. Are you sure he's ok?" I just get the general feeling that he's trying way too hard.

I really hope Dolvett doesn't jump on the douchey bandwagon because, well...yum. If I was a celebrity, I'd hire him as my trainer any day.

I really think they should have a Biggest Loser-type show where there's no yelling. Maybe I should have continued with getting my fitness trainer certification and invented that show. Blast! My ticket to fame and fortune! Although, I guess I'd have to get a few tattoos to be taken seriously.

Proof that no one looks good in ill-fitting sweatpants.

Weekend artist

I had every intention of working out and then doing this all weekend:

Yeah, that didn't even last through Friday night.

Whaaaaat?

Around lunchtime on Friday, my brother dropped off Rocco for me to watch while they were out of town for the weekend. He and Pippi are quite the team. I had two furry, dog-shaped shadows all weekend. It was nice to eat breakfast at my desk at work this morning without them both in my face.

Also, anyone watching me trying to take them both for a walk together in the mornings had quite the laugh.

The remainder of my weekend was spent painting and installing knobs in the kitchen and building a new way to organize my earrings so they aren't sitting in a cigar box on my dresser anymore.

Friday night: knobs

"painted" with Sharpies.

Ready for baking.

Shiny!

Aaaaand...installation.

Wee.

And then Sunday I parked myself on the couch with intentions of not doing much else, and then I found this in my Real Simple magazine:

..and it occurred to me that I could make something like this to get my earrings out of that cigar box and hanging up so I can see them. I headed to Michael's for buttons and a display of some sort. I planned on nailing the buttons down...somehow. 

Well, that didn't exactly work out. I bought a really cheap wooden display case and painted it and then a new thought dawned on me (thanks to Pinterest): a cookie cooling rack!

As luck would have it, I got a sweet new cooling rack for Christmas, so I had my old, handed-down one to spare.

Bam!

 

I also worked out, but that goes without saying. This week I'm supposed to begin the "max" workouts of Insanity and I'm pretty nervous. Send me luck!

I feel like I'm on a first-name basis with these people these days.

Five things Friday

It's been so long since I've posted now that the only logical thing to do is to write a list post to catch up and what better day to return than Friday!?

1. 
Lions and tigers!

This is one of the coolest things I've ever seen. I took this video at The Conservator's Center. Yes, those are lions and tigers chillin out together after a big lunch on the top of that platform. We basically got to get as close to the animals as two chain-link fences about two feet apart. It was incredible.

Lions and tigers and wolves!

2. 
I have a new friend!

FrostyTheFingerPuppet

HappyTriGirl posted a few hilarious pictures with her Frosty in them and I inquired about how I could procure one for myself and, just like that, she surprised me by sending me one! They've even got their own hashtag on Twitter—#Frostythefingerpuppet. Best package ever. It's the little things in life.

Also, is my dog the only one who thinks all stuffed animal-like things are hers? I don't even buy her plush dog toys because she destroys them in five seconds, so I'm not sure where she gets it from.


3. 
Pippi's left ear has gotten limp. I'm not sure why. It's floppy now when she walks. 

Maybe it's just gotten lazy in her advanced age of two years old.

Wednesday was the big day.

4. 
I had a date night last week. I divulge no other information than that at this time. We decided, after a bottle of wine between the two of us, to drive to Harris Teeter and buy another large bottle. 

We then finished that one, too. And I went to work in the morning. Best idea ever.

5.
Insanity update: starting over. My friend, Mike, decided he wanted to start Insanity and we decided we'd work out together a couple days a week, which involved me starting the program over this week so we'd be on the same schedule. So far I haven't noticed any real changes other than the soreness. Oh the soreness!

That chic on the left shows me up on a daily basis. Bitch.

  





















Do you celebrate your pets' birthdays? Growing up we always did and I'm following tradition. I even sang to Pippi while tossing her treats. She seemed impressed...with the treats.

On going insane

In my many years on this earth, I've tackled lots of types of workouts: running, swimming, yoga, kickboxing, workout DVDs, spinning...and now I'm venturing into the world of Insanity. I've only tackled two days so far, so I've got 58 more heart-pounding days to go.

At least my birthday lands in the "recovery week".

Don't let the "fit test" fool you. I was all "Oh, day 1 is just the fit test. I'm sure it won't be that hard." And then I learned a lesson that I will be cursing Shaun T. for for the next 58 days. Adding "power" to the beginning of a well-meaning exercise makes it 500 times more evil. Adding "suicide"? Well, you can imagine.

I've mentioned this before, but I really hate the "quick feet" exercise because, well, any part of me that can jiggle, does jiggle. And that just ain't fun. And now, I have new exercises to hate even more. The Heisman and 123-123.

Basically  jumping side-to-side doing this. Over and over.

Yesterday's workout was Plyometric Cardio Circuit, meaning I got to do these things over and over, each time faster than the time before (in theory). Truth be told, I only got through 20 minutes of the 40-minute workout because I'm now dealing with balance issues due to the junk in my head not going away. I haven't been able to hear out of my right ear since Sunday. Mucinex to the rescue!

I like to call this "doing it right."

By the way, it really bums me out that the Mucinex boxes don't feature the phlegm monster from the commercials.

But I digress.

I remember the first time after I did my favorite workout DVD, I struggled to walk up stairs for three days but then doing it a year later it now seems easy. With any luck, by day 60 these workouts will seem easy. Right, guys? Right?