Bandwagon jumper

First off, I would like to report that I not only jumped on the Game of Thrones (show) bandwagon, but I am now caught all the way up! I never thought I'd ever watch it, mainly because I don't have cable, but then my Sister-in-law hooked me up with her HBO password and it was a 2-week-long love affair.

...know what I'm sayin?

Just in case you didn't know what I was sayin.

Normally I'd read the books before watching the movie (or TV show as it were), but I fear that would just confuse me even more and I think I'm finally understanding most of the storylines...but I'm probably wrong about that.

I did learn one very important thing, though. When the time comes, I think I'll just elope.

Of course, now that I'm caught up and will have to wait week-to-week to catch the next episode just like everyone else, I'm looking for another series to get hooked on. Suggestions are welcomed.

In other news, I spent yesterday at my best friend's house, playing with her adorable children.

I'm kid friendly.

I may need to make borrowing her kids my new hobby. I mean...

Waking up to this face every day? Umm..ok!

Back at the ranch (aka-my humble abode), I dog-sat Rocco this weekend.

'Sup?

I've watched him several times before at my house and we're buds, but it always astounds me how such an adorable creature can be so stubborn. I take him on a walk and he's all "look at me. I'm prancing like a princess," and I'm all like, "Dude, I have to walk you two separately. I'm late for work. Just find a place to poop. I'll tell you you're pretty later." To which he responds by staring at the neighbor hoping his mind powers (and good looks, obviously) will entice him to come over and pet him. And when it doesn't, he lifts his leg and pees...for like three minutes straight...in the neighbor's yard right in front of him. I love you, buddy, but when you're gone, I still have to live here!

I make sure the neighbors stay away, Aunt Emily.

My house has been well-guarded this weekend, for sure.


In closing, I just couldn't resist...

Sorry, Theon.

Sleeping like a freefaller

So I learned something new last week. After another week of no progress in fixing my back, my doctor asked me what position I sleep in at night. I told him I sleep on my stomach. He asked me, shocked, "You don't sleep on your back?" Apparently sleeping on your stomach is to your back what killing defenseless puppies is to humanity. Didn't you know?? So, I was told to put a pillow under my abdomen before falling asleep. I tried it and, after about two hours of lying awake uncomfortable, I gave up on that genius plan.

Also, as with just about everything in life, did you know that your sleeping "style" says mysterious things about you?

Also, apparently, believing all this makes you misspell the word fetus.

This weekend I decided I was going to try watching a new series on Netflix. I'd been hearing good things about House of Cards, so I decided to give it a try. Spoiler Alert: the first episode begins with a dog getting hit by a car. He goes on to whine and cry in pain for at least a minute. It probably goes on longer than that, but sixty seconds was all I could take before hitting 'stop' and completely giving up on the entire series. Yep, that's all it takes.

Any dog-friendly series I should check out?

Also, this happened this weekend:

It got to the point where my hair was getting annoying and I'd just put it up all the time, so it was time (either that or Kara's black widow infestation stories put me over the edge). I got about six inches cut off. The lady who cut my hair was a little whackadoodle. Apparently she was a graphic designer for ten years and she hated it, so she spent the entire appointment trying to convince me to switch careers. Luckily I'm not that easily influenced.



I've been feeling left out with everyone running races recently. I'm ready to get back on the horse! Three more weeks to go until I can hopefully start running again. I guess I'm going to have to learn to sleep with a pillow under my abdomen. Or maybe someone can invent a way to just numb my lower back? Or maybe a donor disc between my L4 and L5 vertebrae? Is that even possible? I've already got a race in mind for next March, so hopefully things start looking up.

I see da future, Mom. It looks bright!

Doucheweasel Harper

Remember back when I totally dumped on Jillian Michaels?

Well, I still feel the same way about her. Nothing has changed there. She still needs to put a shirt on (although I dig her arms). I thought, when the new season of The Biggest Loser aired and she was coming back, that I was going to hate it so much, but I have a new "least favorite thing" about the show and, as much as it pains me to say, it's Bob Harper! I've never really done a "review" on him, but I do mention liking him in several posts (just not showing as much love for his workout videos).

I used to enjoy him for the fact that he wasn't a douchebag, but that's all changed. Have you seen him lately?

deerrrrrr....

I just can't. He's gotten worse than Jillian at the "yell at them until they throw up" exercise plan. Jillian still does her fair share, but it's pretty bad when she is the one who tells Bob to stop yelling because "he's making a weird sound. Are you sure he's ok?" I just get the general feeling that he's trying way too hard.

I really hope Dolvett doesn't jump on the douchey bandwagon because, well...yum. If I was a celebrity, I'd hire him as my trainer any day.

I really think they should have a Biggest Loser-type show where there's no yelling. Maybe I should have continued with getting my fitness trainer certification and invented that show. Blast! My ticket to fame and fortune! Although, I guess I'd have to get a few tattoos to be taken seriously.

Proof that no one looks good in ill-fitting sweatpants.

A hot canadian actor. No, really.

I found another awesome messed-up crime drama show on Netflix. It's called Durham County. I was really hoping it took place in Durham County, NC (the next county over from where I live), but alas, it's based in Canada.

Dun dun dunnnn

Plus, the lead actor is kind of a fox for an older man.

Hugh Dillon, you sexy beast.

Speaking of TV shows, I've decided I want to get basic channels. Now that I pretty much missed out on the Olympics and realized if I could get basic channels, I could watch certain shows (*cough* Bachelor Pad *cough*) in "real time" and my life would be so much more awesome. After talking with some friends, I decided to order a digital antenna.

SuperSonic. It's got to be good, right?

Hopefully it's the answer to my free tv-watching experience.

Yesterday I took my first kickboxing class in a while and I have a new favorite instructor. Dan. Yes, a dude teaching kickboxing and being super entertaining at the same time. Dan can do a side split. Yeah. I know. He was so excited about the class, he was practically vibrating in the minutes leading up to it. Maybe I can hire him to be my running coach. I'm pretty sure that would motivate me.


In closing, I want to ask a sort of personal question. You don't mind, right?

Yesterday there was an unofficial poll going asking whether women wear underwear or go commando while running. I never knew going commando to run was so popular. Am I the only one who wears undies while running?

Battle of the (stubborn) brains

I'm pretty certain Netflix is the best $8/month decision I've made. Maybe ever. This weekend I surprised myself by deciding to watch Gossip Girl. I was pretty sure I'd hate it and turn it off after five minutes. But, alas, I'm hooked. Who knew I'd end up hooked on a show about the type of people I can't stand?!

Now I just need a treadmill so I can have an excuse to watch more often. Instead, I've decided to watch while doing "weight-training" in my living room. Yeah, I know. I'm hardcore.

Yesterday someone brought up the fact that if the government ever decided to monitor what people watch on Netflix, they're in trouble. I'm pretty sure I'll be in jail. Among the list of things I've watched are documentaries about Jeffrey Dahmer, Timothy McVeigh, Jonestown, and multiple school shootings. It's safe to say that my entertainment choices are all over the map. The same goes for my music choices. I like to keep 'em guessing.


Yesterday I ordered a dog training aid that I never thought I would.

No, it's not some kinky torture device. It's a prong collar. I have a few friends who've said using the prong collar is how they taught their dog to not walk them on walks. Getting Pippi to walk on a loose leash is one of the big things on my list of things to teach her.

When we went to training class last week, Trainer Ryan went over a technique that is just not working for me, so I enlisted the help of a few friends who have had success with other techniques, and after doing some research, I've decided to try the prong collar. There are many schools of thought on the subject, including people who are very much against this training method and trainers who really believe in it.

Yeah, that'll be the day.

The only reason I'm willing to try this is because Pippi knows her name, she knows to sit when I stop walking and to look at me when I call her name. She knows these things, but is so easily distracted it's ridiculous. Also? She's strong! It'll be so nice to have a dog who can just chill and enjoy a walk. I can't wait for that day! I also found a video just now on a different technique (which doesn't use the prong collar) that I'll try first. I can always return the prong collar if I don't use it, right? Why can't dogs just not be stubborn?


Would the government be interested in your TV choices?

Do you find "mean girls"-esque shows intriguing?

Have you had success training a dog to walk on a loose leash? What worked for you?

Abs and idiots

Today is day 1 of our ab workout challenge! Alyssa and I decided a while ago that we needed help in.. umm...this area. I'm also making Emily do it with us. Just because. She recently registered to run the Hartford Half in October, so I felt the needs to torture her with these ab workouts too. Plus we have the same first name so I'm pretty sure she'd do the same if the tables were turned.

Today's workout (Thanks, Pinterest)

I hate ab work, but I really really need it, so I'm looking forward to (hopefully) getting a stronger core. It's supposed to help with running, too, and since I plan on PRing the shit out of Hartford, I'm going to need the strongest core possible.


And onto my next newest obsession.

Since I'm going to have a completely different financial situation soon, I've decided that I'm going to rely on Netflix instead of getting cable. At least for now. In all honesty, I typically only watch Netflix, Hulu, and DVDs anyhow. I have an obsession with Investigation Discovery shows. I don't know what it is, but something about crazy things happening to people (whether they deserved it or not), is fascinating to me.

My newest find

Currently I've been watching Fatal Attractions. The people in this one all deserve the things that happen to them. The description of the show goes a little something like this: Fatal Attractions seeks to understand why some people risk their lives by having tigers, crocodiles and other dangerous animals as pets.

Yes, Tigers. TIIIGRRRRS! One dude housed a 500-pound tiger in his New York City apartment. Another fella let his "pet buffalo" live in his house. Then there was the lady who was killed by her very poisonous pet snake, which she let roam her home. She'd been bitten by a snake previously but wasn't poisoned, so she thought it meant she was "becoming immune". You know, until she died a violent, painful death.

Sketch a dude's neighbor drew of him after he was eaten alive by his pet lizard.

I think it's funny that you always know if the owner of the animals was killed by the animal or not, depending on who they interview throughout the show.

Haven't you always wanted a pet bear that outweighed you
by 400 pounds? And has sharp teeth? And is known for killing
things??

There was a kid whose grandfather owned a tiger and would feed it by going inside its cage. When the kid was small, he'd play with it like it was just a pet cat. He actually said in an interview that, "I didn't really realize they are as dangerous as they are." Again, it was a TIGER! People are such frickin idiots, but it sure makes for great TV!

"Oh nothing. Just chillin with my WOLF DOGS. I bred 'em myself."

The saddest thing about this show is that these people keep so many of these animals as "pets" to keep them from being killed, but when someone is killed by an animal, they then kill the animal! Oh, you have 23 lions on your property and one of them killed you? Yeah, we're going to have to kill them all. Just to be safe.

Because you are a MORON!

You never do know what's going on at your neighbor's house. It's actually legal in NC to have a tiger as a pet. One of the most ridiculous things I've ever heard. There is actually a Carolina Tiger Rescue organization in the town that I live in currently. So very ironic.

To end, I wanted to share something that blows my mind. And makes me want to cry.

Legos and life sentences

On Friday I placed an order on the Lego website. The reason for which, I'll reveal later. (It's super awesome!) Also awesome is that, after you place an order, all the Legos are so excited for you!

I wonder what the story is behind the beaver hat.

You know those days when you're feeling ugly or like you have no sense of style and all it takes to make you feel better is to go to a public place and people watch? I have an awesome new solution for those days when you're just not feeling so smart: watch moronic people on TV.

Sure, there's the Kardashians or Toddlers and Tiaras or any of the Real Housewives shows, but Netflix has opened up a whole new world of idiots! I'm a fan of Investigation Discovery shows and yesterday I discovered a fabulous show called Prison Wives. These people are effing crazy. CA-RAZY!

One woman's husband cheated on her with his ex-wife the day they were all supposed to go on the Jerry Springer show (yeah). The day the show was to air, the ex-wife was found maliciously murdered and her blood was found on his shoes. BUT he still claims he's innocent and so does his wife. This is just one of the fabulously batshit stories.

One dude divorced his wife in order to marry a woman serving a life sentence in prison. He kept a mannequin wearing a wedding dress in a room of his house so he could feel like she was there with him.

Seriously. If you're feeling a little DUH, I highly recommend this show.
 

Have you bid in my auction yet?? 

There are several items that haven't been bid on yet and most of them won't be sold in the shop again, so jump on this! Auction ends tomorrow morning at 9am!

I need a thermal butt cover

I forgot to post this picture of my running attire from Saturday's long run. I looked like a freaky weirdo, but I was warm. Well, except for my butt. My butt was cold the entire time. Also, does everyone's feet look like clown feet in tights?

Pippi says, "Yo. 'Sup peeps?"

Yesterday I had another horrible treadmill run attempt. My left ankle and hip were screaming. I tried to push through, hoping the pain would just go away, but tripping and flying off the treadmill is a huge fear of mine. While "flying" may sound like fun, I've done that kind of flying before and it's totally not fun at all.

Today I'm going to try to run outside, but my fear of the dark and getting hit by cars and chased by wild animals is on high alert. I haven't gotten a headlamp yet and I don't own anything reflective and it's been getting dark a little after 5pm these days. This brings me to my next subject...money. I've added a crapload (that's disgusting talk for a whole lot) of new items to the shop. Go! Buy! So I can afford a headlamp :) Because if I get mauled by a killer armadillo, I'm holding you responsible. (No, not really but I will be pretty pissed off at having another medical bill).

Seriously, the Noodle Huggers have become a necessary part of my workout. I actually blame my bad run yesterday on the fact that I forgot to pack a headband and, therefore, my hair was everywhere and sweat kept dripping down my forehead.

Here's a peak at the new ones:

Another new development in the brain of Emily (it's a seriously scary place): Since Netflix has run out of episodes of Mad Men for now, and Make it or Break it is on a break, I had to find a new show to become addicted to. I've landed on Nip Tuck. It's so awesomely disturbing. Everyone on the show is so messed up. I love it. I mean, check out some of the show photos.

What shows are you addicted to?

Am I the only one who thinks armadillos are both awesome and scary and still I want one for a pet?

I make awkward look cool

It must be working

Yesterday I decided that my 15k training plan was going to burn me out rather quickly. I knew I had to change it up. It had me running four days in a row each week; six days a week total. I'm such a cross-training junkie with such a short attention span, that for the sake of my sanity I decided to take a couple of different plans, combine them, and add an extra day of cross-training in place of tempo run days. When I get more comfortable with the plan, and using Willy, I'll add in some tempo runs to the other run days. I'm feeling way more confident about this plan.

Yesterday spin class was...weird. The instructor was someone I haven't had yet. She was young. She had us listening to Britney Spears and Taylor Swift. Now, correct me if I'm wrong, but spinning is a hardcore workout that deserves much better, more upbeat songs than "Today Was a Fairytale". And also, she mentioned at one point that she is 20 years old. I'm pretty sure everyone in the class wanted to run up and flick her in the forehead.

Random thought: Wanna feel better about yourself or maybe more...normal? Watch Dance Moms. Man, talk about wanting to flick someone in the forehead! These bitches are crazy! All of them! I'm dumbfounded. You just need to check it out.


And now, I'd like to give you a sneak peek at my upcoming etsy-ful weekend.

In the next couple of days I should be receiving the last of the materials I need to make collars. It's becoming real, you guys :)


Are you good at flirting? I'm not. Unless inappropriate, teenage boy pickup lines are hot.


Are there any shows you watch because they reaffirm the fact that you are a good person?