Totally tubular

I really wish the MRI tech had said that. It would have made my day.

Yep, i had my brain scanned yesterday. Before you scroll all the way to the bottom to see what the results are, I haven't gotten them yet. I'm assuming that I'm now waiting on a call from my doctors' office to come in and discuss the results and next steps. This annoys me a little (although I understand the reasoning), because I'll be out of town for a week, starting this Saturday. Who can wait that long for results of a medical test, without going bonkers!? Not this girl.

So, the "process" was nothing like I was expecting. First, I realized as I was walking into the hospital, that I don't like hospitals. I don't know why. They give me the creeps, much like motels do, but that's because just about every scary movie ever made takes place in a motel.

After the creepiest check-in process ever, I was finally greeted by the MRI tech, who was quite possibly one of the nicest men I've ever met. He locked up my purse in a locker and got an IV going (to squirt the contrast agent into when the time came). I want to say this didn't bother me (heck, I've donated blood tons of times), but something about the thought of having the IV in my arm for an extended amount of time made me feel a little claustrophobic, in a weird way.

After the IV insertion (is it just me or is that a gross word?), we headed into the MRI room and I got to lie down at the mouth of "the machine" (dun dun dunnn), and the tech put hearing protection in my ears and what he referred to as a "helmet" around my head, and pushed the button to send me inside the tunnel of doom. This normally would have probably freaked me out, but I was only sent in up to my shoulders (thank goodness!).

The tech (I really wish I had gotten his name), told me to stay as still as possible. Ok, first of all, the one thing in life that I am literally incapable of doing is staying still. I was chomping at the bit after five minutes. Also, the minute you tell someone to stay as still as possible, every inch of their body will itch. Why is that!?

Now comes the part I was totally unprepared for. I was aware that there would be loud noises (hence the hearing protection), but there were different noises and they came in spurts and lasted different amounts of time. Some even included vibrations. I don't get this part because if the thing you are lying on is vibrating, you're technically not staying still. But whatever.

After a long looonnnggg time (probably really only about 20 minutes), tech dude came in to put the contrast into the IV. I was seriously waiting for some sort of strange reaction, like foaming at the mouth, or turretts (however you spell that), but all was cool. The noises and vibrations went on again for another long looonnnggg time. I was getting the worst itch on my chin. Oh man, was I ready for this thing to be over!

And then it finally was and the tech guy took out the IV and sent me on my merry way. He didn't discuss any part of the results with me. I got a really quick glimpse, but it was far away and the screens were small. Good news, though, I do have a brain. That much I could tell. On my way back to get my purse I mentioned how it seemed to take longer than 30 minutes (which is what he'd told me in the beginning) and he said that the brain scans are the quickest. There was a guy in another MRI room we passed whose scan was going on an hour. I can't even imagine lying still for a whole hour!

So, no results yet. I know, this story has a lame ending. Hopefully the results will be here soon.


In the meantime, a dog story about my little turd puppy. She's decided that, in the middle of the night, she really wants me to be awake. If I take her out (which I always do because if she pees in my room one more time, I'm going to birth a cow and I'll be even more pissed if she does it because I didn't take her out when she asked me to), she'll pee, but it's not like she goes out and pees like she really had to go, like when I have to pee in the middle of the night.

So anyhow, last night she had me up at 2am and then when my alarm went off at 4am, I wanted to push snooze, but it's clear that my days of pushing snooze are over. She was a-rarin' to go! Until, while I was getting ready for work, she was napping.

It's a good thing I'm cute, because Mom has that look in her eyes like she's about
to scream.