Internet boy-finding: a recap

Look who's been added to my bib hanger

I have a hard time calling it the "hot chocolate race" since I
didn't get any.

In other news, I've been asked to discuss my online dating experience. Apparently all my horrible ex-boyfriend stories haven't scared you all enough (find them here, here, here, and here in case you need a refresher).

About a year ago, I had a friend talk me into joining one of those online dating sites. I honestly can't tell you which one I joined now, but I'm single, so that's how awesome it was. After paying the fee for the three-month "membership," I went to town. I ended up talking to a guy via email a couple of times daily for a couple of weeks, until he finally asked about going out.

The date went really well, and was followed by a few others. I felt that we had a pretty good connection and on date 5-ish, he asked me if I had gone out on a date with any of the other guys I'd met through the site. I told him no, that I'm not a "date multiple guys at a time" kind of person. He let me know that he had gone out with some other girls and he hoped that didn't bother me. Is it just me, or does this seems like a really awkward thing to ask/say on a date? Because I'm awkward and don't have witty comebacks to serious situations, I just changed the subject. We ended up going out one more time, and after that all contact ceased as quickly as it began. I think I tried contacting him twice with no response before I decided he's just like all the others and I moved on.

Side story: After a couple of dates, I decided to ask him to be my friend on Facebook (horrible idea), and he hadn't accepted. After he quit communicating with me, I decided to cancel the friend request because I just didn't care anymore. When I did, I noticed his relationship status went from "single" to "in a relationship" with her name and everything.

After that I talked to a couple of other guys on the site, but wasn't wowed enough to want to date any of them. I have a strict "I won't date you if you're creepy" rule now, and none of them didn't fit that bill.

Moral of the story (from my experience): I can get jacked over on my own, in real life, without spending $30 a month for it.

...so I adopted a dog who gets diarrhea every time I leave for more than a day. I win!

Don't you dare get a boyfriend. That bed is MINE!

Any online dating stories to share? Good or bad....go!

The mistake that won't go away

Unfortunately, they keep coming back to haunt me!

So I had a pretty awesome weekend, however one thing happened that's been taking over my brain and I want it to go away!

A few years ago, I was dating a guy that I really liked (and the feeling seemed mutual). It ended up being a long-distance thing. I'd get mixed messages from him talking about "when we get married..."  and then, "putting a ring on a girls' finger is suicide". Talk about an emotional roller-coaster. Oh and also, we never really put a title on the relationship. I'll never make that mistake again!

So anyhow, I had introduced him to my best friend, which is like, woah. I'm more afraid of introducing guys to her than to my parents! She liked him (which is also like woah) and ended up "friending" him on Facebook. Well, as all things with me and guys eventually do, it all went sour. I began to realize I wasn't being treated like I should and broke off communication. I also stopped following him on Facebook (duh). Since it was long distance and he wasn't trying to communicate with me on a regular basis anymore, I figured this was the best solution. Just move on.

How lovely it would be to just behead certain people.

Fast forward to yesterday. I have decided to become a coupon person. I'm too poor not to, really. Instead of using my regular email addresses for coupon-related things, I've decided to use an old one that I had only used to communicate with the dude. This way I can just "delete all" when I get a bunch of coupon spam. Well, I hadn't gotten rid of all the emails with dude yet and was being taken back in time reading them while trying to delete them. (I can't "delete all" on my iPod, unfortunately). I told my friend what I was trying to do and her response was, "oh, he's definitely engaged. I saw it on Facebook".

Wait wait wait a second. Did I ask for his relationship status? Did I want to know anything about him at this point? NO! In situations like this I prefer to live blissfully unaware. But noooOOoo. I just wanted to rewind the moment and not have said anything. But instead, I had all kinds of dreams about him last night. DAMMIT! If you have any ideas on how to make them go away, please share!

WARNING: If you or someone you know has any information about any guys that I've dated in the past, keep it to yourself. Or I may be forced to behead you.

"Momma I will always love you like I love the warm, sunny spot on the floor."

I'm not a huge Carrie Underwood fan, but I do love the line in one of her songs that says,"The more boys I meet, the more I love my dog." I'm pretty sure I repeated that song five times on my run on Saturday!

The story of how I sidestepped yet another landmine

Today I am at home, taking a sick day, which means I'm typing this on my home computer that I don't like to use because I'm afraid it will self destruct at any moment. It was a gift from my mom and stepdad for my college graduation. That makes it...uhh...seven years old. (Excuse me while I go sob for a while).

Anyhow, yesterday a couple of you inquired about "Rage", and I feel that it would make for yet another epic 'crappy boyfriend' story.

To bring you up to speed, this is the guy that I worked with. We had a pretty great relationship (or so I thought), and then, as Summer was approaching, one evening after work he walked me to my dorm and told me that he was moving away for the Summer and so we had to break up. It was totally out of the blue. I was extremely upset (even called my mom really late at night, which I've NEVER done before or since), and he had the most stoic look on his face the whole time, like it didn't matter to him at all.

I found out later that he never actually moved away (let me remind you, we worked at the same place!) Not too bright, that one. Coincidentally, he's currently the only one of my exes who is married.

You know how, when two people get married who shouldn't
be getting married, everyone bets on how long it will take until
the divorce is final?

So anyhow, Rage was an ex-marine. He didn't have a father figure growing up. Yes, he did go by Rage. (No, I did not call him that). He was an RA of the dorm he lived in (which means he had his own room). He was heavy into sky-diving. His favorite color was red, because it was "angry". On Valentine's Day, after dating for only a couple of weeks, he got me a necklace with a heart charm that had diamonds in it. I liked him A LOT (not because of the necklace).

I'm pretty sure this is
the one. I no longer
am a "heart jewelry"
person.

Rage LOVED the Rocky movies. I had never seen one until I was with him, and I still haven't really seen one because I pretty much spaced out all the way through. Not really my idea of a fun movie date. He believed that if guys cry, it's a sign of weakness (I assume this meant he had "daddy issues" or it was a military thing. Who knows, but it's ridiculous).

I'll never forget one night we were staying at his dorm and he got up in the middle of the night. I assumed he had to use the restroom, but no. Apparently there were some guys rough-housing in the hallway. He opened the bedroom door and yelled so loud and with so much anger (or "Rage") that I was actually afraid to be in that room with him the rest of the night.

OH, and also, "Rage" shaved his entire body. I'm not even kidding. I don't know about you, but I think guys are supposed to have some hair. I felt like a beast compared to him, with my hairy parts. He slept with no shirt on and we were forced to sleep in twin beds. Cuddling up to a spiky chest (because he didn't shave every day, so there was always stubble) was far less than awesome.

I was able to look past all that, because in every other way, we got along great. He was sweet (we had a "nap schedule", where we'd meet at my dorm between classes and take a nap together), athletic (he'd even get in the pool and swim with me, even though he wasn't good at it), we went off-campus to go on "dates" a couple times a week, did things together on the weekends. It was actually fun. We hardly ever argued. But, as I learned the hard way, Rage changed his mind easily and, it seems, if he got too close to someone, it was time to move on (or "move away").

So, there it is, the story of Rage. I hope it did not disappoint :)