Lumberjack with pretty feet

And the internet wins again.

This past weekend I finally did a few things that were long overdue. For one? I got a freaking pedicure!

I never do red. So mainstream of me.

It's probably been over a year since I've gotten one and, as with getting my hair cut, after I have it done and realize how much I needed it, I promise myself I'll do it more often. And then I don't.

Only time will tell.

The next thing I did that was long overdue has to do with a very large, ugly bush. Let's all get the giggles out of the way now. LARGE UGLY BUSH!

Ok, on to the story of said bush.

The first time I pulled up to my house (which wasn't mine yet) for an open house, my first thought was, "Holy crap, that large, ugly bush has got to go."

I mean, come on.

I vaguely remember asking the property manager if I could remove it and her telling me I'm not allowed. And then lately there have been break-ins in my neighborhood and what better place to hide than behind the LARGE UGLY BUSH, right? My agenda was clear: chop down the bush!

And so, saw in hand...

BOOM!

As you can see, there's still a stump there. I don't have the necessary tools to dig it out, but my brother suggested using the Jeep's 4-wheel-drive power to do it. Not surprisingly, I've already gotten an offer from a friend to do it for me...in exchange for beer. Aaaand...done.

Come spring, I plan on planting something much more aesthetically pleasing in the spot than the large, ugly bush. Suggestions welcome. Clearly, the HOA's landscaping company pretty much sucks at choosing greenery....and trimming it.

They trimmed this dude a couple months ago and left it like this.

Now, had they trimmed the large, ugly bush like this, I would have kept it.

I mean, who would burgle a house with this out front?

NO ONE!

Almost as spoiled as the dog

I'm having one of those weeks that is truly testing my ability to hold my shit together. That's pretty much all I have to say about that.

In other news? Last night my laminate floors were completed!

Dining room

Living room before and after

I couldn't be happier with them. I just added up all the costs for reimbursement purposes and the total spent, including last-minute purchases including some molding and an extra package of underlayment, was less than $700. To put it into perspective, the estimate I was given to have a contractor do the work? $3,120! The amount I was going to be allowed to use out of the account I pay into every month for replacing home systems was $1,786, so there is $1,100 in the account that wouldn't have been there if I'd gone with having the contractor do the work!

Being incredibly cheap is awesome, right?

The other plus to not having a contractor do the work? I got company for four days; company that joined in with my bad "that's what she said" jokes and 12-year-old boy humor. Score! I now owe my friend Dan and his dad, Jeff, my right arm and first born child because Somehow I don't think some pizza and beer is quite enough of a payment.

These two are my heroes.

They let me take the first whack at the old floor, and lay the last piece of flooring, which Pippi supervised.

After removing the old flooring in the living room, why wouldn't you trace a body on the floor to freak out some future tenant?

One thing I learned throughout this process is that the walls in my house aren't straight. Apparently this is common. Even though the walls are wonky, when laying the floor we (ok, "they") ended up not having to do much trimming to the length of the "boards" until the very end, which was good because as it turns out, I didn't measure for the area in front of the stairs or the closet when I ordered materials. And  yet? There are four full boards left over. Win!

Chuck's impressed. That's good enough for me.

Progress in the living room

Progress in the dining room

Pippi supervising

I'm sure Dan and Jeff are glad to be done, have their tools back, and be free of Pippi, who they deemed to be a cross between pit bull and meth addict.

Last night when they finished the floors, Dan so kindly cleared my gutters for me since my HOA still had not done it. Yeah, I'm spoiled. Almost as spoiled as the dog. 

Almost.

Home Improvement failure

Ever since I bought my house, I've had all kinds of ideas about how to make cheap home improvements. I've really only so far mentioned the successful projects. Last weekend I had a rash of unsuccessful projects and started my week off feeling like a total failure. At least at work I know what I'm doing...usually.

Late summer last year, I bought a cheap ($30) 5-shelf bookcase from Target.

Laminate/wood composite crap

It's one of the ones that is literally held together by the cheap fold-out backing, which is nailed onto the frame. Basically: if you ever want to move it after you build it, good luck!

And that's just what I tried to do: move it. By myself. The bottom collapsed.

Now I needed a place to put my books! Soooo I decided to take the hand-me-down TV stand I was going to try to sell on Craigslist (also made of laminate and not selling anyway) and paint it.

Let's just make a long story short: you cannot paint laminate furniture...at least, not successfully.

The other project I wanted to attempt was making a "rug" out of a canvas drop cloth. Sounds really lame, right? I know, but hear me out. Several posts on Pinterest told me it was possible and people have been successful. Since I will soon need some area rugs and I can't afford them, I figured buying a $10 drop cloth and using some leftover paint was worth a try. I had it all laid out and ready to go and then I got cold feet. My confidence was shaken. I just couldn't GO ON!

Ok, it wasn't that bad. I only softly wept...and then consoled myself with frozen yogurt.

There was one "home improvement" project that was successful, however.

FLOWERS!

Too much?