Friday Diatribe-ing

First, I'd like to thank Kara for the opportunity to rant about this, which I am now reposting, mainly because it's that ridiculous. Now, I take public transportation to work because it only costs me $250 a year to park and be driven to work rather than $600+ to maybe be able to park at work instead. It's bullshit, but I digress.

There are many issues with this plan, the least of which being that it's inconvenient and it makes me motion sick on a daily basis.

This morning, UNC closed offices until 10am (due to black ice), meaning every single employee and student tried to get on the buses and to work/school at the same exact time and the Chapel Hill transit service never thinks to run extra buses to make up for it, so I ended up with some large woman who was forced to stand up in the aisle because the bus was overcrowded, shoving her purse in my face instead of just stowing it on the floor between her legs like everyone else and it took a whole hour for the full, overheated (because the drivers always just turn the heat on high, which does wonders for car sickness) bus/clown car to drive me to work (four miles). If I had known, I would have worn running shoes and walked to work the much shorter route, in less time.

The meme that will never get old.

My next kvetch? Something I've no doubt discussed ad nauseam, and that is doctor copays.

The whole reason I gave up trying to find a diagnose for (let alone seek treatment for) the chronic vertigo issues four years ago was because of money. The costs just seem so arbitrary. For one "specialist" I'm charged $60 while it's $70 for another. One charges for every appointment, even if it's just a 10-minute follow-up discussion, while the other waives the copay for follow-ups. I'm a state employee, man. Have mercy!

Logic? That's SO last year.

I had a visit with the Otologist today. I discussed all the dizzy happenings with the MA and then again with the nurse practitioner. I cannot explain to you how sick I am of having to repeat myself or of having people look in my ears. I mean, it's way less obnoxious than perhaps having multiple people take a look inside some other orifices. Maybe I should count myself lucky.

I have two more tests coming at me in my near future: SOT (sensory organization test) and ECOG (electrocochleography). One of them isn't covered by insurance. 

That said, having to ridiculously alter my workouts because I can't run, lest I fall over, is becoming increasingly maddening. I have a half marathon in a little over a week and that thought, currently, makes me want to curl up in a corner and bang my head against the wall. 

...or something like that.

I don't know about you, but here it's officially wine-o-clock.

Any rants/kvetches/general complaints to share?

All the nope

On today's edition of What the Hell is Happening in My Head, we bring you the results of Emily's Videonystagmography. (Don't worry, the saga doesn't end here).

The smile is fake. The style is very real.

To say that this is one of the more strange things to happen to me at a doctor's office is quite an understatement, although I view any doctor's appointment where I don't have to remove my clothes to be a win.

Because going to the neurologist isn't creepy enough

To make a long story short, this test involved wearing these super snazzy infrared goggles and undergoing the following:

• Keeping my head still and following Mister Potato Head on a TV screen with only my eyes while he moved all over the screen. That sneaky little sneakster.
• Lying down, sitting up, keeping my head at certain angles
• Having cold and then warm air shot into each ear for a minute at a time 
• Feeling like I was floating all over the place
• Lots of questions
• Talking about dogs (this was just a bonus of having an audiologist whose dog has his own Instagram account)

The result? I have a 30% impairment of the right peripheral vestibular pathway (a weak Vestibulocochlear nerve in the right ear). So, clear as mud.

I've been doing a lot of research and I don't really understand it any more than when I first heard the diagnosis. The next step is I get to go see an Otologist.

Every time I have an appointment, I think "oh good, I'll finally get answers today! And then...all the nope. Someday.

Someday.

Having my brain examined

Remember that race I registered for that takes place in three weeks? I've had the cold from hell for the last two weeks and have basically just been struggling to breathe ever since. We've also had lots of crappy, cold weather and ice falling from the sky.

OVER IT!

That said, my workouts the last couple weeks have consisted of coughing and blowing my nose and coughing...and blowing my nose. So you know, to say that I won't be completely ready for this race is an understatement. Luckily it's also a full marathon, so I have plenty of time to finish.

I planned to get back into it Saturday and do a two mile treadmill run to remind my body what this whole running thing is. I got on the god forsaken machine and almost instantly the dizziness hit. Yes, THAT is still happening and it makes it really hard to run both straight and upright.

Except way less fun-ny.

After being wrongfully diagnosed with Pastulous Eustachian Tube back in 2011 (oh God, it's really been four years!) I was forced to give up trying to find the cause/cure due to lack of funds, especially after my MRI and hearing tests didn't show anything amiss. Endless guessing at my expense just isn't my thing. I recently switched to a primary care physician closer to my house who has filled me with a newfound need to get this shit found out! 

Last week I had a visit with a neurologist. Talk about an amazing/interesting/enlightening experience. Dude knew his stuff, treated me like I was an intelligent being, and he wasn't too awful on the eyes. So far in this train wreck experience, I've felt like the doctors were literally guessing, with absolutely no confidence behind their "diagnoses." This time, though, I have a newfound hope.

Mmm..veiny.

In case you're like me and have a need to Google search ALL THE THINGS, I'm going in later this week for videonystagmography (VNG). Enjoy, fellow nerds! Results to come.

By far the best image found by Googling videonystagmography

Podcast virgin no more

This morning I discovered something I probably should have discovered a while ago: podcasts. I knew they existed and were popular, but not necessarily what exactly they were. It turns out it's like listening to chapters of a book on tape...for free. The Netflix of books on tape, if you will.

I'm a big fan of things like Investigation Discovery, crime "whodunnit" shows, and horror movies. I'm fairly surprised that, based on my Netflix and Google search histories, I haven't yet been investigated by the authorities. It's just all so fascinating!

I'd been hearing about this podcast called Serial and wondering what the big deal was. When I found out it's a nonfiction murder mystery, I already knew what had to be done.

My bus rides to-and-from work are about to get interesting.

So far it's pretty enthralling. The only thing that's hanging me up, though, is that some of the information is quite detailed (the crime scene, for instance), and I can't see it! HelLO...visual learner over here. I even Googled images of the scene.




I'm also excited to announce that it's 50 degrees and sunny here in central NC, while just south of DC where I moved from seven years ago?

Cloud barf.

It's not a ton of snow, but as anyone in northern VA knows, even the smallest snowfall means PANIC! and everyone forgets how to drive. To not have to be dealing with that today? Priceless.

Are there any other podcasts I should check out?

Back to the running posts

This weekend I was browsing iTunes and came across a Greatest Hits jackpot.

$5.99 for 16 songs. Hell to the yeah.

It looks like for today's run I'm takin it back to high school (and maybe even middle school?).

Speaking of running, training has been interesting. Since we're focusing on getting faster, I've been running faster than normal 3- and 4- milers exclusively so far, beginning runs with agility work, and finishing them with stretching and ab work. For example, 8 25-second planks with 10-second breaks in between. I just have to keep telling myself that it's making me better.

The cracks and pops I experience in my body after getting out of bed in the morning are epic.

Since I'm going for a certain pace per mile when I'm running, I've decided to dig out and use my Garmin 305 again. Runkeeper's GPS has been gypping me probably a tenth of a mile for each actual mile that I run and that's just not gonna work. I realized that the 305 isn't bluetooth compatible and I don't own a personal computer, so uploading workouts to track my progress becomes slightly obnoxious. And so, I've been pining over the Garmin 220. It's not even almost in the budget.  I've been having an internal struggle of want vs. need. Being a responsible adult is ruining my LIFE!

Drama queen? What's that mean?

...and it's purple!

What running/biking/swimming/general distance tracking app do you use? Have you ever had an issue with it not crediting you with all your mileage?

I'm considering blaming RunKeeper for my not reaching my distance goal for 2014 by 5 miles. But then I decided instead to just not set one for 2015 and move on. Problem solved!

99%

So, nagging question: Wouldn't it make more sense to refer to birth control as conception block?



This deep, burning question has been plaguing me for weeks. My brain. I can't.


In other news, spring race training has once again begun. I've decided, for financial and sanity reasons, that two half marathons a year—one in the spring and one in the fall—is a good plan for me.

Because my spring race is on a trail that used to be a railroad, it's pretty flat; a good chance to attempt a PR once again. I had originally planned on creating a plan from different plans (read: winging it) as I usually do, but then I was asked by a friend if I wanted to try to train for a PR. He's super smart and has coached track and, well, I've got nothing to lose. You know what Einstein said about "doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result," right? So, my training is officially in his hands (not Einstein's).

Einstein wore tidy whities.

One thing I really need to work on (and I never thought I'd say this) is my nutrition during training. Specifically, eating enough calories and protein. Apparently a couple servings of peanut butter a day isn't enough protein. The world is a cruel place!

I love to eat. Food is my BFF. And yet, apparently, I've been doing it an injustice by not consuming enough of it. I'd make that my resolution for the new year, but I don't do resolutions because what happens looks a little something like this:

Womp.

Did you make a resolution for 2014 that you stuck to?

Bandwagon jumper

First off, I would like to report that I not only jumped on the Game of Thrones (show) bandwagon, but I am now caught all the way up! I never thought I'd ever watch it, mainly because I don't have cable, but then my Sister-in-law hooked me up with her HBO password and it was a 2-week-long love affair.

...know what I'm sayin?

Just in case you didn't know what I was sayin.

Normally I'd read the books before watching the movie (or TV show as it were), but I fear that would just confuse me even more and I think I'm finally understanding most of the storylines...but I'm probably wrong about that.

I did learn one very important thing, though. When the time comes, I think I'll just elope.

Of course, now that I'm caught up and will have to wait week-to-week to catch the next episode just like everyone else, I'm looking for another series to get hooked on. Suggestions are welcomed.

In other news, I spent yesterday at my best friend's house, playing with her adorable children.

I'm kid friendly.

I may need to make borrowing her kids my new hobby. I mean...

Waking up to this face every day? Umm..ok!

Back at the ranch (aka-my humble abode), I dog-sat Rocco this weekend.

'Sup?

I've watched him several times before at my house and we're buds, but it always astounds me how such an adorable creature can be so stubborn. I take him on a walk and he's all "look at me. I'm prancing like a princess," and I'm all like, "Dude, I have to walk you two separately. I'm late for work. Just find a place to poop. I'll tell you you're pretty later." To which he responds by staring at the neighbor hoping his mind powers (and good looks, obviously) will entice him to come over and pet him. And when it doesn't, he lifts his leg and pees...for like three minutes straight...in the neighbor's yard right in front of him. I love you, buddy, but when you're gone, I still have to live here!

I make sure the neighbors stay away, Aunt Emily.

My house has been well-guarded this weekend, for sure.


In closing, I just couldn't resist...

Sorry, Theon.

Crate news!

You guys, we have a graduate!

Pippi has been roaming the house free of her crate for a week. She still looks confused when I leave the house without locking her up, and when I come home she waits in my room for me to come say hi and rub her belly. I kind of like this new arrangement. She's always exhausted in the evening. I attribute this to her probably feeling the need to "patrol" while I'm at work during the day. Her life is HARD, you guys.

If only she wore clothes...

I'm troubled

It's been quite a while since I couldn't fall asleep at night because my brain was full of ridiculous thoughts. That is, until last night. It got so ridiculous that I had to write it all down so that I could put it to rest (and get some rest).

Last week I lost one of the rubber ear pieces for my earbuds and replaced it with one that was slightly different and then I had different sound in each ear. That just wouldn't do. I had some other replacement ear pieces and also an extra pair of earbuds somewhere. But where did I put them? Of course, this didn't occur to me until after I'd already gone to bed. I couldn't have thought about it earlier in the evening. That would have been too convenient. After going through the many possible places they could be, I couldn't let it go. I had to get out of bed and check if they were there. They weren't in any of those places. And so, the earbud thoughts went on.

I was thinking of this scene over and over. Thanks to the internet, now you can too!

And, as thoughts tend to do, the earbuds thoughts somehow morphed into the "hear no evil, see no evil, speak no evil" saying. What about smell no evil and touch/feel no evil?! THESE ARE THE QUESTIONS THAT KEEP ME AWAKE AT NIGHT!

But can't you SMELL that?!

And then, I started thinking about trash bags. Logical segue, right? This past weekend I was at my brother and SIL's house and my brother had just taken out the trash, so I grabbed another trash bag. To my amazement, they smelled like heaven. They were a special Febreze-scented variety and WHY HAVE I NEVER HEARD OF THESE? I need these in my life. Who doesn't want to pretend their trash don't stink?

Shield that odor.

The last thing I remember thinking about while falling asleep is my freaking car registration/tax bill. I have several neighbors whose car registrations expired years ago and they're driving around with expired tags and I'm losing sleep over the fact that I have a $150 bill for car registration and taxes that I have to budget for in the next month. I got really close to convincing myself that I'm going to turn all my neighbors in to the police before it was clear I needed to find a way to just go to sleep already.

I'd hire someone to read this to me but laughing isn't conducive to sleep.

I actually had to take out my phone and add a "note" with all this in it so that it was documented somewhere other than in my head.

I'm very troubled.

Four things Friday

ONE

Have you ever had one of those runs where you would give anything if only a porta-potty would magically appear at this moment? This was my run yesterday. Too much information? I think I've found a huge flaw to the whole living alone thing. No one to come..."rescue" me in such situations. 

Aptly named, I'd say.

TWO

Last night Pippi needed a bath. I'll spare you the details of why. One thing I don't understand is why dogs hate baths so much (or at least MY dog). I mean, it's like a free full-body massage! I basically have to try to trick her into the bathroom or drag her in there. She looks dejected during the entire bath and then as soon as it's over and I get out the towel, it's butt-tuck-run-crazy time. What IS that?! 

The dog version of "talking back?"

THREE

I moved to North Carolina six years ago today! It doesn't even seem possible. I had no job and moved in with my brother and sister-in-law. Two years ago at this time, I had signed a contract on a house. So many things have changed!

Back when it was almost mine.

FOUR

This. Because...Friday!

Have you ever had to be rescued on a run?

Does your dog enjoy baths? I've heard of this phenomenon, but never met a bath-loving dog.

At least she's cute

Pippi knows many words: Outside, hungry, dinner, shake, cat...to name a few.

And she now knows the word squirrel.

Ever since I got the bird (slash squirrel) feeder, she now spends only half her time being connected to me with super glue. The other night while I was lazing on the couch she wasn't in the same room so I went looking for her, afraid the silence meant something less-than-awesome was going down. Nope, she was just creepily spying on a squirrel, her nosed pressed up against the glass.

I've concluded the only time her attention span is longer than about 30 seconds is when there's a cat or a squirrel in the vicinity. She'll stand there just staring as long as one is around. As soon as that squirrel is done eating and hops away, she jumps at the glass and barks. Because that's how you get the object of your affection to stay a while. Didn't you know?

Because who wants to watch birds eat when you can STARE AT A SQUIRREL OH MY GOD!

WebEmilyD

If you're like me, whenever something is happening with your body that isn't normal, you retreat into self-diagnosis mode. You also know that one of the best and worst websites of all time is webMD.

Going back a couple of weeks to that recurring foot issue I have during long-distance runs, as a cheapskate self-diagnoser, I did my due diligence. After much research and discussion with my PT Technician friend, I've decided I may have sesamoiditis. 

I don't know that it's all related, but the pain from the bulging disc in my back always occurs on the right side of my body and I've always had foot issues with my left foot. I know. I'm a freaking genius. 

To get relief from this strange...condition, in lieu of just not running (been there, done that), I've purchased a couple of these bad boys:

The idea is to take pressure off the sesamoid bones while running. I'll be testing them out today....along with not wearing heels for a while. If this all helps, I may need to get rid of the heels forever (DARN!)

Now that the foot mystery is diagnosed, a new issue has emerged. Two weeks ago I had two chipped teeth/fillings repaired. It was the normal process of numbing, drilling, etc. Blah blah. But ever since, I've had a consistent dull ache in my jaw and a never....ending.....headaaaaache. 

One thing that happened during the "procedure" that I didn't recognize as strange until later on is that, when the dentist did the numbing, immediately I noticed my heart started racing and I was shaking. I chalked it up to being nervous and not having enough to eat for breakfast. A couple hours later at work, I CRASHED big time. My mom told me later that sometimes when the dentist is injecting the numbing...stuff, they hit a blood vessel. And that's bad. It makes your heart race and then you crash. Well then, mystery #2 solved.

I understand now what Jason Statham went through. Except, you know, I'm not armed with weapons and handsome good looks. Oh, and his face wasn't numb.

Have you ever had a strange ailment you successfully diagnosed using the internetz? 

Neighbor Shaming

AMIRIGHT?!

So, remember when this happened?

So I got that fixed. And then this happened?

Well, I haven't been able to replace that yet and this goes and happens:

As luck would have it, you can't buy only the rear window. You can either buy all three soft windows as a set or you have to invest in an entirely new top + windows...for $500. 

If things really do happen in threes, I should be good for a while...at least in the broken car parts department. Unless, of course, I just jinxed myself by saying that. It would be so nice if my guardian angel would come back and do her job.

Having all these things in disarray is hurting my nerves. Driving around with a duct-taped back window makes me feel like I should be living in a different neighborhood...where my neighbors have couches on their front lawns and walk around in their underwear. Last week my American flag in front of my house ripped and I couldn't get it down so it stayed like that for about four days. I was that neighbor. Thankfully, I've since replaced the flag AND installed a bird feeder in the backyard. Getting on karma's good side and what-not.

Maybe this will keep Pippi entertained during the day.

Really, Mom? Most boring show ever.

Have you ever done something that made you feel like an unfit neighbor?