Thursday, April 19, 2012

Dear people of the world

Dear people of the world,

I'm here to explain a little something. At first I thought this something was just a tad annoying but now it's full-blown obnoxious. That something is this: Not every running race is a marathon. A marathon is a very specific kind of race; a very specific distance.
a long-distance running race, strictly one of 26 miles and 385 yards (42.195 km).
In case you don't know where the idea of the marathon came from, a quick overview:
There was this dude from Athens named Phidippides. Phidippides was a professional runner. Basically, the Athenians took advantage of his skill. They had him running all over the place asking for help and warning people of things. After running 280 miles round trip to Sparta and back, and fighting in the Battle of Marathon, Phidippides was then asked to run another 26 miles to announce their victory. He got there with just enough energy for the announcement before he collapsed and died.
I wonder if you'd chafe less or more running a marathon naked.

I'm pretty sure that if Phidippides heard you calling a 5k race, a 10-mile race, or any race shorter than 26.2 miles a marathon, he'd have something to say about it. And my guess is he wouldn't be too nice about it (unless maybe you died at the end, then he might take it easy on you). I feel, however, that he'd be okay with calling a 13.1 mile race a half marathon since, well, it's half the distance of a marathon.

Just to clarify, I have great respect for race-runners of other distances and obviously they are real races (I have absolutely no plans of running a full marathon ever!), they're just not marathons. And that's okay!
A fabulous movie that everyone should see.

Speaking of running races, starting today Aspaeris is having a 50% off sale! Just enter the code APS4me at checkout and *BAM* you're on your way to amazing comfort and recovery.


  1. So you are saying that you don't want me to wish you luck on your 10 mile marathon on Saturday. But I might not be able to control myself from yelling "Go Marathoners" right when I see you pass my water station.

    1. First of all, since your water station is right before the mile-long hill, I won't be passing it up, I promise you that. Also, headphones are allowed in this race. I probably wont' hear you. Wee!

  2. You say now that you'll never run a marathon....but I have my doubts. muahahaha! And spirit of the marathon is awesome.

    It makes me crazy when people call something a "mini-marathon." WTF does that even mean? The only things that can be called marathons that do not involve running 26.2 miles involve 12 hours of Law & Order: SVU.

    Also, already ordered my pivot shorts. boom. awesome.

  3. After my first marathon, which my dad spectated at, he was volunteering at a 5k and talking with a girl who just did a 25k race. He bragged about his daughter doing one and told her my time. I am so embarassed for me. I am also embarassed that my dad, who was a runner a long time ago, failed to know that 25k does not equal 26.2 miles. Some girl thinks I ran 15.5 miles in 5 hours. Thanks, dad.

  4. I watched a movie marathon on TV once. It took hours.

  5. I've run like a million 5k marathons. I don't know what you're talking about.

  6. I read a blog about a lady who walked a 5k marathon once. It made me cry.

  7. You lost me when you started saying that marathon is a noun. But seriously, that shit pisses me off.

  8. Yay I would not say never, I said that once and here I am marathon training!

  9. I hate it when people call all races marathons. Big difference people. I did that once when I was a teenager and I cringe every time I think about it:) 5k marathon, so funny!

  10. I said I wouldn't do a marathon but yet I signed up for one in the fall. I better go walk my 1 mile marathon now.

  11. I have a co-worker who talks about the marathon she participated in once. It was one of those 10K or something and she walked it. I can't stand her so it's hard for me to talk to her in general but that day was even worse.

  12. Amen! Sad that it needs to be said.

  13. This really should be made into some kind of PSA commercial. I'm sure most runners would be willing to donate a few bucks to make it happen. All in favor?

  14. So you are telling me I have to stop saying I run 5K marathons? Bummer.