Giuliana Rancic. If you haven't heard of her, she's an E! News host and she and her husband star in their own reality show. This is what she looks like:
this to my attention. It's her "meal plan," in her own words. Some of the highlights:
"I'm at the gym by 5am so i don't have enough time to eat and digest before i get on the treadmill. Therefore, since i DON'T drink coffee, I drink a tea called Yerba Mate."
Breakfast is the most important meal of the day, dummy...especially before a workout. Even a banana would work. I doubt she has enough energy to work out too hard anyhow.
I wanted to know what yerba mate is, so I found online that "Some studies indicate that people who drink large amounts of yerba mate over prolonged periods may be at increased risk of various types of cancer, including cancer of the mouth, esophagus and lungs." (A small price to pay for looking anorexic, I guess).
"After my workout, I head to my 6:30 morning meeting and I drink a 16 oz bottle of water with lemon and a pinch of cayenne pepper in it. This is a great way to wake up your body and get it ready for the food you will soon put into it."
I don't know about you, but my body needs no prepping for having food put in it, especially after a workout. And also...cayenne pepper in water. Yeah, that's normal.
"Coffee can actually hold onto fat whereas green and oolong tea flushes fat out (love that)."
Dear Giuliana, you can't just make stuff up to make yourself feel better. Coffee does not hold onto fat (whatever that means), and there is nothing you can consume to "flush out" fat either.
"I also open up a bottle of GT's Kombucha ... I sip this throughout the day because it is very good for you and it totally helps with hunger cravings."
So does eating.
"At about 7:15am I have an ORGANIC grapefruit. This is an amazing fruit that helps keep you regular and also helps flush out fat."
Again with the flushing of fat. Methinks someone needs an edumacation.
"And i ALWAYS say NO BUTTER, NO OIL...instead tell them to cook it in a light mist of Pam cooking spray."
She mentions several times that she uses no butter or oil. Some oils are good for you. You know, with the Omega-3's and all. Maybe she doesn't care since she's going to get cancer from her tea anyway. Also, she says many times to "tell them". I guess she thinks we all have personal chefs.
"I looooove dessert but I used to love it too much. So much so that I had to completely cut it out for a while. Now, I will have a bite here or there but I find it is easier to just pass instead of getting that sugar in your bloodstream and then going nuts and chowing down the whole pie. Instead, I order berries after dinner or some sort of fruit."
I'm convinced she's alien. In my experience, a bowl full of berries does not get rid of a chocolate craving. Also, completely cutting something out of your diet that you loooooove? Dude, life is short!
"I used to be obsessed with Frozen Yogurt but I found that it is better on your body and weight to have a scoop of real ice cream than a cup of frozen yogurt since the fro yo is all chemicals and your body doesn't digest it properly."
Really? Because I know people who are lactose intolerant but can still eat (and digest) frozen yogurt, but not ice cream. I think she's reading from the "fake facts" encyclopedia again.
"I will enjoy the "cheat" food by having a little bit of it and giving the rest away. For instance, if i just MUST have pasta, I will let my husband order it and have some bites of his. Or I will order a healthy dish and ask for a half order of the pasta on the side. I will eat half of the side of pasta and pass the rest around the table so my friends can try it to. That way you are impressing the table with your generosity and cutting lots of calories."
First: A bite of pasta is not a cheat. Second: How much do you think her husband hates going out to eat with her? Third: Sharing a plate of plain pasta with your friends will not impress them. Share a brownie instead and then maybe (or give them money. That's sure to impress them).
"I overcame my sugar cravings!"
If you say so, lady. I'm sure if I dangled a huge piece of cake in front of you, you'd want to take a bite.
And, so, my "crazy of the day" award goes to Giuliana Rancic. Her reward? A tip. EAT SOME FOOD!
I love the one commenter on that article who said "How does coffee hold onto fat? With its little hands??" Classic.ReplyDelete
I bet she is super fun in general. It's hard to feel bad for her not being about to get pregnant when she treats her body like that.
I mean "able" instead of "about". It makes much more sense that way :)ReplyDelete
Kara, Check this out:ReplyDelete
I really kind of want to punch her.
Ok, I read that article and now I'm convinced that you need fat to have a functioning brain. Butter makes you smart!ReplyDelete
Pretty much one of her Hollywood gurus told her all of that stuff. They don't come up with that stuff on their own. The cayenne pepper thing I've heard before to allegedly "increase metabolism" etc and don't know anything about the citrus or coffee.ReplyDelete
It might be my computer, I'm not too sure, but your font is painful. It looks like someone right-handed trying very hard to write prettily with their left hand. Overall it just gives the impression of barely controlled insanity. Your blog would look nicer if you changed it.ReplyDelete
I've not had any complaints about the font before and it looks fine on the two computers I use and my iPod touch. I'm not sure if I changed it, it would look any different on your screen, Anonymous.ReplyDelete
Can I just say that "it gives the impression of barely controlled insanity" is my new favorite phrase of all time? Thank you Anonymous :)ReplyDelete
"It helps with hunger cravings" "So does food" this made me officially love your blog (this is my first time here). This post is freakin hilarious, and I want to punch people who say they eat fruit to deal with chocolate cravings.ReplyDelete
Hi Alyssa! I couldn't agree with you more about the fruit. "Yes, I want some fruit for dessert...beside my big piece of chocolate cake!" :)ReplyDelete
I am truly laughing out loud. This woman is truly an idiot. Frozen yogurt is chemicals, but silicon based cooking spray (ummmm chemicals) is better for you than extra virgin olive oil. WOW is all I can say.ReplyDelete
But I do have to say em, I have fallen in love with your blog. Leave it to us saggi's to have an opinion on something and crack others up while doing so!